Though AVN Awards week is upon us like the scoutmaster who first made pornography seem like a viable career, the movie we discuss today isn’t nominated for those vaunted laurels; Instead, Metro’s “Babes Illustrated: Burning Desire” was simply the final film received at Gram Ponante Towers, Rookery, Heliport, Dildohenge, and Filo Depository in 2010.
What does it tell us about the state of commercial pornography in 2011?
It would be intellectually lazy to extrapolate from a single, six-scene all-girl DVD directed by Beth Ann Rafael (who also threaded dozens of men through the tensing thighs of Sabrina Deep in that performer’s cirque du gang bang last year) a whole year’s worth of porn, but, er, intellectually, we …
In 2011, “Babes Illustrated: Burning Desire” proves to us:
Not to be afraid of that extra sandwich. While obesity is epidemic in America, these women just have a little extra flesh, so as not to slice their partners open with razor-sharp bones. It’s a simple matter of hitting the salad bar when you get your Diet Pepsi.
Charlie Laine might inspire someone to commit horrible crimes this year. Charlie Laine is hot, is what I’m saying.
Everything newish is oldish again. Former Vivid girl Lux Kassidy is unrecognizable from the person I met five years ago. For a moment I wondered if those images of a frizzy-haired disco queen might have been included by mistake from 1978′s “Plato’s Retreat Fun Girls.” Kassidy looks intriguingly like she might be able to give me Bianca Jagger’s number.
People will fuck on ladders. Red ladders, with wheels. Mobility and height will be factors in 2011 pornography.
Time’s winged chariot is ever drawing nearer. But it’s a nice chariot. Julia Ann is 41 years old. She can help you find the answers.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Fiat Lux Kassidy; Sabrina Deep’s Deep-Thinking Big Top Gang Bang
See also: Metro
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