Audrey Bitoni: Not that kind of Cardassian

By astutely feigning ignorance of Kim Kardashian, the producers of Getting It Up with the Kardassians instead stumble full force into a group more rabid than O.J. Simpson lawyers, Wheaties-bound decathletes, and the divided realm of Armenia: Star Trek fans.

What would the legendary Cardassian Union founding father Tret Akleen think about Audrey Bitoni’s performance as Kim Kardassian?

“I wouldn’t kick her off the holodeck of my Galor-class warship for eating Larish pie,” he said. “Also, I would like to eat taspar eggs off her ass.”

Previously: Audrey Bitoni: Comin’ at Ya!
See also: Venom

About Gram the Man 4399 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

4 Comments

  1. So a long time ago when Paul F. signed my paychecks, I was sent to cover a set somewhere in Calabasas. The location was very ranch-y and the owner of the property was very cool. So I’m hanging outside, and I see the owner talking to someone who looked very familiar over the mailbox, like neighbors who actually knew each other. It hits me later that he was talking to the guy who played GUL DUKAT.

  2. You need more anime references, Gram. I’m all about the Gundam, Cowboy Bebob and Neon Genesis Evangelion references.

    Wait, is that why I don’t have a GF?

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