Is the 70’s porn creepiness gene necessary for our survival?
Sundown, you better take care/If I see you been shavin’ off your pubic hair
“We need to cast the perfect Xenude,” says Engram Ponante
“When I’m Lily Potter, they say things like, ‘I like the way your hair reflects on your pale tit skin.'”
“Le Monde is — how you say — not so big, eh?” — Francois de Mechagodzilla Petite-Squirrele
Minderjährigabertotenjetzlust doesn’t even cover it
In addition to closing National Park Service sites and furloughing federal employees, the government shutdown that went into effect this morning has closed the Fellatio Dog Program, which congressional Republicans call “the Blowjob Entitlement.”
Porn Valley is buzzing about its latest job-creating, money-making, creatively worthwhile, and altogether useful parody “To Kill A Mockingbird XXX,” starring Rob Black as Atticus, Diamond Kitty as Scout, Bruce Venture as Dill, and Kevin Moore as Boo Radley. In the 1962 film starring Gregory Peck, Scout and Dill dare Jem to peek into the…
Perhaps Dexy’s Midnight Runners will be comforted that someone thought of them IMMEDIATELY upon watching a popshot descend on the bejeweled stomach of Jaslene Jade. Probably not.
Gram Ponante goes in search of a mannequin without a dildo
“I don’t watch much couples’ porn, and have not seen a Penthouse movie in a while,” I said to myself, “so why not broaden my goddamn horizons?”
The Skin [Diamond] was thickly covered with coarse black fur, and from the abdomen a score of long greenish-grey tentacles with red sucking mouths protruded limply.
In the movie “Pure MILF 2,” Lisa Ann cuddles up to some dude on his easy chair when a spirit wearing track pants is clearly seen walking by at the top of the stairs.
“Some of these apple-picking girls fuck like the Wendigo is after them,” says Allie Haze. “They’re not scared of death.”
It was May, 2006, a year after I’d started Porn Valley Observedin earnest, when I attended my first “Pussy Party,” and it became one of those rare events in which I knew I was having a good time while I was having it.
People talk behind Sinn Sage’s back a lot, and it’s all nice things. It might have something to do with the quality of her back.
“It stands to reason that if there is a movie called ‘The True History of She-Male Cock’ that there have been false histories,” says historian Doris Kearns Goodwin
“It says that the only way to keep Interstellar Beings from entering our skulls is to wear hats if you are female or sunglasses if you are male,” Siffredi said. “And you see, I have already purchased sunglasses.”
Gram Ponante explains the balloon fetish like you’re some kind of idiot
I don’t think I’m alone when I say that the 5-scene spirit stick endeavor “That Horny Little Chearleader” made me think of Walter Matthau shaking his fist on his lawn.