Best of Inbox Nudes 3.30.11

This week’s batch of Inbox Nudes is as white-hot topical as you’d expect of a business that knows better than any when things are “not so fresh.”

Lizz Tayler
Age: 20
Agency: OC Modeling

Do you think the recent death of Elizabeth Taylor has resulted in a boatload of work for Lizz Tayler, such as “Suddenly Last Cummer,” “Peoclaptra,” and “Pussy On A Hot Tin Rufinol”? To me, Ms. Tayler actually looks more like Bristol Palin, a character she played in Hustler’s “Who’s Nailin’ Palin 2.”

I like the suspenders. They remind me of Mork from Ork.

Bianca Mendoza
Age: 31
Agency: Vangard Talent

So many of Porn Valley’s sets are located in buildings attached to warehouse spaces that it is likely that Sub-Saharan villagers, wired to the Internet for the first time thanks to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation or MIT’s Media Lab, probably fetishize pallets, rack storage, and forklifts by association.

Here preens the juicy Bianca Mendoza, 31 and interested only in Solo, G/G, and fetish work. But if you think she’s a prude, you should see what else she does with that forklift.

Sophia Sutra
Age: 22
Agency: Metro Talent Management

I don’t know whose idea it was to pornify the schoolgirl outfit, but this is why Johnny Can’t Read.

Maxi
Age: 20
Agency: Vangard Talent

There are just a few stock porn poses, designed to ease an unimaginative browser’s burden, but it just seems that Maxi’s eyes are saying something a little more gently than her vagina is. If I were an English teacher, I would cite the student for ocular/vaginal disagreement. As a photographer, I might suggest such a smile would require a more demure presentation of the labia.

I once walked into the bedroom I shared with a girlfriend and she presented herself in a similar fashion. I remember thinking, “That’s a little on the nose, isn’t it? I mean, you don’t have to draw me a map.”

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Tanner Mayes would walk a mile for/with a Cameltoe
See also: Vangard Talent, Metro Talent, OC Modeling

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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