Brandon Iron: The Last Man Working in Porn

Brandon Iron was born in Canada and, along with Tina Tyler, Sophia Santi, and Brad Armstrong, proves that our neighbor to the north added more to the porn landscape than just “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.”

Iron has developed and starred in a number of honest, quirky, whimsical, and/or pathetic porn series, including one that encompasses all four, “She Is Half My Age.”

In this second installment of “The Last Man Working in Porn,” Iron addresses the hustle involved in staying afloat in the porn economy.

Gram Ponante: Is it possible for porn to be a full-time gig anymore?

Brandon Iron: Yes, but you have to learn skills….and not just nunchuck skills, although that may come in handy.  If you aren’t blessed to be an A-list stud, you should learn the following:  still photography, videography, lighting, editing, cash-flow management, and how to be your own administrative assistant…but not necessarily in that order.  Just do as much for yourself as you can in order to minimize expenses.  Realize that breaking even is sometimes a reward in and of itself and that there are no guarantees in this business.

Gram Ponante: When and how did you start your porn career?

Brandon Iron: [inserts quote from “Austin Powers“]

In other words, I just followed my passion.

Gram Ponante: Can you recall a time in the business when things seemed to be firing on all cylinders? What was going on that made you feel that way?

Brandon Iron: Every day in porn is a good day. My face has been between Amy Ried’s butt cheeks.  It doesn’t get any better, trust me.

Gram Ponante: I am not asking you to blow your own horn (much), but I’m wondering if you think you do things differently from other people in a way that has allowed you to survive and thrive?

Brandon Iron: Like the definition of insanity, I keep doing the same things expecting different results.  The magic formula, if there is one, is to:  1.  Get blowjob from model who is willing to swallow.  2.  Find way to make blowjob scene pay for next blowjob scene.  3.  Repeat.  DO NOT REVEAL THIS SECRET FORMULA TO ANYONE ELSE.  I have done this 600-odd times at www.loadmymouth.com and hope to keep it going for a long time to come.

Offer fans good value for their money.  That’s a shorter way of saying the same thing.

Seriously, if you have mild OCD and refuse to take “no” for an answer, you will find a way to survive in this business.  Every “no” just gets you closer to “yes.”  Take risks.  Take chances.  Someone, somewhere will think you have a gift for perversion.

My latest “risk” – if that is what you call it – is to put out a porn movie WITH ABOSOLUTELY NO SEX!  Sounds crazy, but “Toeses Like Roses” is an ode to the female foot and the wonderful tease that happens when 10 worm-like toes writhe and wiggle in front of your face.  There are over 50 models in this movie, including Sasha Grey and Bree Olson.  I think it’s a winner but it may fall flat.  I won’t know, of course, unless I put it out.  May the foot fetish Gods smile down upon me and JM Productions for this release.  It’s exactly the kind of movie I would rent.

Gram Ponante: Do you treat people professionally the way you’d like to be treated?

Brandon Iron: I try to but I am sure I have failed often.  The porn business is by and large a people business.  It’s no different than other sales jobs in that you want to sell something to someone.  For me, I want to sell the illusion that it’s easy to get hundreds of women to blow me.

I have made many mistakes and have miscommunicated myself countless times but due to an ever-increasing age gap between me and the women, I have honed porno parenting skills.  I believe in the rules of Toastmasters.  1.  Tell them what you are going to tell them.  2.  Tell it to them.  3.  Tell them what you just told them.  In porn terms, this means:  1.  Tell a model what you are going to shoot that day.  2.  Shoot it precisely as you said you would shoot it.  3.  Say thanks for doing a good job.

When models are fully informed what you expect and are praised for doing a good job, you get results.  Women are not mind readers so the clearer you are with your expectations, the better.  Each time I have had blowouts on set, it was due to my inability to communicate effectively.

Gram Ponante: How would you define a professional attitude in porn?

Brandon Iron: For a director, it’s not wasting people’s time;  showing respect;  communicating what you want; recognizing the difference between making an effort and being lazy; asking performers to only do acts that they are capable of doing; motivating people; not ripping people off; and showing appreciation for a job well done.

For a performer, it’s being on time; keeping a current HIV test and STD panel; taking direction and criticism;  understanding that you are performing, not hooking; respecting your partner and their do’s and don’ts; and giving 100% to every job, big or small.

Gram Ponante: Are there things that are encouraged or tolerated in porn that wouldn’t fly anywhere else?

Brandon Iron: Lateness; rudeness; calling in “sick” when you just don’t feel like working due to staying out late/partying/etc.  It’s no different than most other jobs, really.  Being an asshole gets you fired and word gets around.

Gram Ponante: What do you wish people understood about working in porn that they don’t seem to, currently?

Brandon Iron: It’s not a party.  It’s real work.  Real time and money are spent.  People care about their product, too.  It’s not a joke. Even as funny as my “Hookers And Blow” line seems.  (For the record, it’s about my good friend Joe Blow and the women he meets in his travels.  We’ve shot some good scenes in Los Angeles, Prague, and Budapest.)

Gram Ponante: What are you most proud of in the business?

Brandon Iron: Creative freedom and a video voice to connect to the collective fantasies of millions of men worldwide.  It’s extremely rewarding to have the opportunity to try to hit a home run in this business.  It’s rare but it happens.  Nothing beats capturing great sex on camera.  Everyone can appreciate it even if they never get to experience it for themselves.

Gram Ponante: If you feel comfortable doing so, describe something you failed at, whether by some other asshole, your own naivete or bad attitude, a sad turn of events, or a combination of these. What I’m getting at, I think, is that people who succeed are ones who learn from mistakes.

Brandon Iron: There are too many to mention but my biggest failures have come from my own foolishness and not knowing when to let go.  I have spoken when I should have listened.  I have thought I was more intelligent than I really am.  I have done the right thing for the wrong reasons and vice versa.

Getting back up when you fall down is vital.  There is a Chinese or Japanese proverb that goes, “Fall down seven times, get up eight.”

Gram Ponante: Is there a person you find inspiring in this business, either as a role model or as someone whose methods should ALWAYS be avoided?

Brandon Iron: I respect and admire Rocco Siffredi.  He creates movies that I enjoy watching and he has gone out of his way to be kind to me the few times I have met him.  For example, I worked for him in a production called “Initiations #4” in Budapest.  Almost two years later, I was attending Barcelona’s erotic convention.  Rocco was entering a side entrance and making his way to the stage, surrounded by a team of bodyguards.  He saw me and went out of his way to come over and say hello.  A crowd started gathering to greet him and his security personnel were getting concerned.  Rocco was cool and kept saying, “Relax.  It’s fine.” to them.  He shook many hands before going on stage and giving a speech to a few thousand appreciative fans, myself included.  Class act.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Don’t tell Pazuzu; “Hookers And Blow“; “This Girl is half his age”
See also: Brandon Iron