As you well know, a porn teen and an actual teen are rarely the same thing, but that is a problem that is too big for us to tackle.
That is why we at Gram Ponante Towers, Rotisserie, Clambake, Crematorium, and Salmon Ladder are proud to announce the International MILF Registry, which will solve the “What is a MILF?” question for consumers.
After lengthy discussions with porn luminaries, clergy, and The Hague, we have determined a set of MILF standards;
1. In order to be considered a MILF, a woman must have physically borne a child, whether vaginally or by cesarean section. Children born from the forehead, as was Jupiter from Saturn’s, also qualify, in addition to immaculately-conceived children, provided they actually exit the mother.
2. All parties must be cognizant of the MILF’s motherhood, whether she be 18 or 50. This can be established contextually by dialogue like “So you’re my hot daughter’s boyfriend?” or “So you go to school with my Joey?” or “Do you want to see where Tammy came from?” or “De Bella, you’re embarrassing your daughter.”
From now on, only movies whose “MILF”s meet the above criteria can receive this coveted and epilepsy-triggering seal of approval.
This “first-time MILFs” movie, asserting actual motherhood, seems on the level. Until proven otherwise I will grant it a seal. If I find out different May God Have Mercy on Its Soul.
Now if we can only do something about the Asians…
Previously: VCA embraces pixelation; Because I could not wait for MILFs; Michelle Aston will eat your girlfriend like a chicken sandwich; Your mother should probably be arrested; Your week in MILFs; Cheyenne Hunter: the loneliness of the long-distance biker-MILF
Sounds good, except I’d add the caveat of “must be old enough to have a teenage child” to truly qualify (and respect the origin of the term), but perhaps I’m too picky.
You’re a lot more idealistic than I am, Christopher. I agree with you, but I live in something called The Real World. Do you want to put an end to voter fraud, too? If we can just secure these two things then maybe we will have made some progress in the chaotic world of MILF classification. You’re asking a lot, and I can’t joing your organic fuels hippy dippy sage smudging commune.
In a bid to have attention paid to my liberally educated brain instead of the fabulously gay hair that usually keeps people from noticing it, I must submit that it was Minerva who was brought forth from Jupiter’s head. Saturn merely swallowed a rock that he thought was Jupiter.
I don’t think he’ll be registering in the IMILFR, though, because he usually only does gay-for-pay work.
Eh, what can I say – I’m special (read: touched), and if I want to believe that a MILF has to have a kid old enough to have friends that wanna do her, then I will!
Let me have my dreams, damnit!
I have been searching for just one milf for a over years now and i am yet to get to see one to have fun or probably have a life time fun with.I am far away in the heart of western africa in Nigeria(world most populouse black nation) and i guess you know what that means when it come to Sex satiafaction.
However,i will be very glad and happy if you can get me a Milf or probably some milfssss contact any where around the world.Who know anything can happen.
Moreover,i am an undergraduate student of a University in Nigeria studying Economics Education(Final Year).I am looking forward to bringing my studies to the UK by the end of this year to study for my master degree programme in Education.I am a 2 sibling residing in the UK,London and Aberdeen respectively.I am 5fit 6 tall.I am huge and have an athletic body.
Be that as it may,i will let you know more of me when i hearing from you.Have a nice day and hoping to hearing from you.
Take care
Elias Olasunkanmi
My contact is elias_olasunkanmi@yahoo.com or 234-08028484190.Take care