The following conversation never happened:
(phone rings)
GP: Hello?
AG: Gram. It’s Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.
GP: The initials of your job are the same as the initials of your name.
AG: Huh. Well I’ll be an Ant’s Grandmother. So they are!
GP: What can I do for you?
AG: Your online presence is sending tremors through the Force.
GP: Did you get the tapes I sent you?
AG: Yes. Plumpers. It’s like Manifest Destiny, except the west coast is a waistband. Listen: we’re extending the 2257 deadline until October 1, or rather have agreed to an extension of the original stipulation regarding a motion for a temporary restraining order.
GP: “We”?
AG: Yes. Us and the Free Speech Coaltion.
GP: Bunch of goddamn hippies.
AG: Ha ha.
GP: Ha ha ha.
AG: Ha ha ha. (How I despise them.) Oh, and by the way: all those people looting down in New Orleans? Terrorists.
GP: You kids are great. I’m glad we’re all being American about this.
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