Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Robby D.
Cast: Alexis Silver, Sophia Santi, Michelle Maylene, Jelena Jensen, Flower Tucci, Brooke Haven, Chris Charming, Scott Nails, “Jerry”
There’s actually not a subtitle, don’t bother writing in to correct me. While we’re at it, if you’re not in the mood for “sharp witted, hilarious, acid tongue, tasteless, mean spirited humor”–um, whatever, Robby–surf on, surfer. I’d try to write a review as tired and stupid as this installment of Jack’s Playground, but a couple of things just won’t permit it.
It’s the Same Old Shit save for the God-given natural bounty on delicious display in the forms of Jalena Jensen and Sophia Santi. They’re the reason you picked up this DVD in the first place, undoubtedly. Like me, you probably turned the thing over and over in your hands, looking for proof of airbrushing, unabashedly awe-struck in the adult aisle as you ogled Jensen’s and Santi’s comicbook heroine proportions. These women are unreal, with firm, bouyant pillows of flesh lofting above and below waspish waists, supported by flowerstem legs and providing the bubblewrap around what Santi calls, in her wild kitten way, her “little baby yami”. “People have told me they have trouble finding it, it’s so small.” Dude. Hit mute and just watch these Eighth Wonders in solo scenes over and over again, because the asshole holding the camera won’t shut the fuck up, and his single-minded goal seems to be interfering with whatever brief moments of heat he manages to commit to HD.
I don’t know what it is about the gonzo persona that makes a guy start to think the popularity of a series is tantamount to viewer interest in him. Porn gets produced “in the bubble”, I guess, and it actually might not cross D’s mind that the last fucking thing I want to see is his hammy, mottled hand roaming like a bloated, leprous rat over the angelically firm, young flesh of 18-year-old newcomer Michelle Maylene. Jesus. Could somebody get ahold of girls like this and tell them they should hang on until something better comes along? The 18-year-olds in this industry should be auctioned off like Brooke Shields in Pretty Baby. At least Maylene’s paired with someone almost as pretty for the sex: This would be “Jerry”. Why is Jack’s Playground populated by so many Eurostuds? you might ask. Maybe it’s because they don’t understand enough of what D’s saying to hate him.
Sadly, I do. I remember thinking Robby D. was going to save porn, and now he’s the same guy I used to think porn needed saving from. Happily for Digital Playground, the quality of the series remains high, with excellent production value and jerkable if by-the-numbers sex. It’s impossible not to recommend the visual tribute to truly amazing physical beauty ensconced in Volume 32, perhaps even a Collector’s Edition for those who want to memorialize in particular the divine pulchritude of Santi. Here’s hoping D grows out of his self-lovathon and starts making masturbation material for the rest of us.
– Eugenie Brown
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