Item 2 of today’s “I don’t know if this is fake or not” selection comes from Shanghai, where this article says there are clinics that offer a designated catcher for sperm donors.
Following a health check and four days’ abstinence from sex or (more likely) masturbation, thus-qualified men can pick up $30 per pop at what appears to be a clean and well-lit rub-and-tuggery.
The only catch is that donors all line up in the same room, like a low-ratio horizontal bukkake. But then, they’re Asian. If history has taught us anything, if something is sexually awkward, the Asians are probably into it.
Once I was asked to donate sperm (it was to be placed in the cornerstone of a federal building). I went to a clinic expecting to be greeted by attractive nurses who would knowingly guide me into a comfortable room and slide open drawers of the type of pornography I get boxes of every day. Instead, I found myself in a North Hollywood bathroom with no viewing materials save for a Norman Rockwell sampler over the toilet and nothing to occupy me but my own thoughts, which were distracted by the sound of screaming toddlers just outside the door.
Would that there were something like this for me.
“They’ll probably pay top dollar for your lil’ swimmers, Grams,” said Porn Valley publicist Wayne Hentai, an Asian, “as they do like the white devils.”
What confuses me is why, with a one-child-per-family restriction, China even needs sperm donors. I also wonder if you get paid less if you request a private room, or if you want the clinician to trowel your seed off her face instead.
Thanks to Miss Roby for the link.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Asian massage scammers never counted on vengeance beyond the grave; What I learned from hentai
See also: Where to donate your sperm
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