Round about New Year’s Eve the boys in Marketing gave me a call.
“Grams,” they said, “we paid a consultant 28 grand to come up with a motto for the AVN Expo but he fell off a roof. Can you help us complete it?”
“What do you have so far?” I said.
“Well, we just need some arrangement of two adjectives and a noun,” they said, “but the adjectives don’t have to modify the noun.”
“What do you have so far?” I said.
“We’ll fax it over,” they said, “as soon as Sullivan types it up.”
Later that day I got the following fax:
Little. Yellow. Business.
Harold. Purple. Crayon.
James. Powerful. Peach.
Milves. Trannies. Asians.
Sexy. Powerful. Odors.
Amazing. Technicolor. Vomit.
Sexy. Boobed. Teamsters.
Expensive. Boothspace. Wheelchairs.
Metal. Metal! METAL!!
Milk. Cheese. Dildos.
Tera. Is. Elsewhere.
Massachusetts. Turnpike. Authority.
Pulpo. Tightfit. SexZ.
Chlamydia. Altporn. Seriously.
Glabrous. Skinless. Invertebrate.
Sexy. Clean. Reverent.
Rapidly. Diminishing. Business.
Wristbans. Badges. Non-refundable.
Call. Me. Ishmael.
Carpet. “Carpet.” Carpet.
Spiritual. Powerful. Restrooms.
…and so on for about 15 pages. I had to get the copy off to the printers so I just took the first three words from The Book of Common Prayer.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Caverject makes women grow
See also: Adult Entertainment Expo
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