At first I rebelled against what I knew was the truth; no one likes to be told what they think. I thought, “You’re not my father; it’s not that black and white. There you are, sitting at the kitchen table with your newspaper. Where have you been? I’m America’s Beloved Porn Journalist. Everybody doesn’t necessarily love big boobies.”
But deep down I knew the real story: everybody, in fact, does love big boobies (4).
Here are Whitney Stevens and Amy Ried in this four-hour compilation. Ried performs with Derrick Pierce at a house on Kanan Road in Malibu that I first visited in 2005. I see that it still has the same structural art. I don’t know what to think of it. But it’s not like I work for Dwell Magazine, right? And if I did, do you think the owners would clean the jizz out of the reflecting pool?
Four hours is a lot of time for diversity. For example, some of the breasts are natural and some have been created by space-age machines. Also: not one person utters the word “boobies.”
But we know what they’re thinking.
Watch Everybody Loves Big Boobies 4
Buy Everybody Loves Big Boobies 4
ADDENDUM: There has been a lot of death lately, but the other evening I was given assurance of my own immortality. “Grams,” someone close to me said, “if I outlive you, I’m going to get a breast reduction.”
At that point I knew I would never die.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Amy Ried: That’s how you spell it; Her First Lesbian Sex
See also: Adam & Eve
While I prefer to adore ample posteriors (I cannot prevaricate), I must admit to loving the natural* boobages of Whitney Stevens and Amy Ried.
*as far as I know and/or am willing to believe