Other than Count Chocula, today’s vampires tend to be fiercely attractive, homoerotic, or both. Moreover, because they can’t see their reflections, they are a post-mirror community supremely confident in their good looks.
There are several reasons why “El Topo” can’t be a porn parody, chief among them that there are no roles for Kagney Linn Karter
There is a reason, and it is not Eon McKai, that porn earned its reputation for horrible production values and lackluster directing.
As you well know, anyone with labia can pull off a camel toe – it just takes the will – but apparently James can do it really well.
“That’s a shitload of sex toys you’ve got there. What does this one do?”
“You put it up your ass,” I replied, “twist it, and stimulate your prostate. That’s what the ‘P’ stands for.”
Ever the enigma, Keely only gives the appearance of having been nude, and actually travels on a separate plane from her nipples.
“Hollywood’s Nailin’ Palin” is a much better franchise reboot than Edward Norton’s “The Incredible Hulk.”
Just like “Ginger Lynn’s Token Ring Ethernet Sex Party,” “Pornstar Tweet” seeks to capitalize porntastically on an ephemeral trend.
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