“Big Wet Asses” aren’t just about the big wet asses anymore

When Gram Ponante Towers, Helipad, Yurt, Apothecary, Battleship, Donutterie, and Forest Lawn Memorial Parks Affiliate is razed next year to build the Ponanterium Casino, Ashram, Spa, and Events Center, “Big Wet Asses 15” is the type of DVD I’d like to place in the cornerstone.

It’s not like we arrive at any essential truths in the DVD, which features “first” anal scenes – something I couldn’t care less about – from some of your favorite heretofore exit-only starlets like Gianna Michaels and Ava Rose, but there is a giddiness that runs through the proceedings as if it were doused with baby oil and fucked nearly to oblivion.

Out of many fine performances, I think my favorite is the one put on by Gianna who, in an introductory tease sequence, is flouncing around a white backdrop when her big sloppy boob flops out. She doesn’t care, and by “sloppy” I don’t mean unattractive; the lesson we learn from “Big Wet Asses 15” is that precision is the enemy of grabbing as many handfuls of hot, greased women as possible.

  • Read my “Big Wet Asses” review here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Gianna admits assault; Today’s kung fu grip
See also: Elegant Angel

About Gram the Man 4399 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

5 Comments

  1. Is there supposed to be some symbolism that they're fucking in what appears to be a vault? "Gianna's repository has finally been cracked" etc etc

    Jr.

  2. Big Wet Asses has surpassed, for me, Jules Jordan's Ass Worship as my favorite bottom-centric series. The teases themselves are almost worth the price of admission, and really show the femmes' personalities in ways that are rarely shown – most of them look as if they're genuinely having fun, which can't often be said.

  3. I'd recommend the series, but being in the business you're in… ummmmmm… do you really need more porn? Especially porn you'd have to go about acquiring yourself? I'm thinking "no."

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