Today is Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of Atonement. And here you are reading a porn website.
The conflict between what we are supposed to do and what we are compelled to do is very strong, so it is fitting on a day like this that we are introduced to Pink Visual’s FapMapper, a modified Google map for the iPhone which allows users to mark where they’ve masturbated.
So far, Los Angeles is covered in ejaculate. More so, in fact, than anywhere else in the country.
Marking one’s territory is, according to biologists, a biological compulsion. Humans put up fences to mark their territory, and dogs urinate on those fences to mark theirs. With the mortgage market in peril, it is no wonder people turn to a free mobile app when they can’t afford to erect a fence of their own. At least they can erect something.
But Genesis 38:6-9 reports that God killed Onan for spilling his seed on the ground. While some say God was angry that Onan used birth control in not knocking up his later brother’s wife, Tamar, others say the creator was pissed because Onan wasted his semen by pulling out early, essentially using Tamar’s vagina as an Old Testament Fleshlight.
But looking at the numerous pins in and around Los Angeles, we realize that, once again, biological compulsions have won out.
In Beta since August, one of the FapMapper’s features is a small comment section to accompany the date and location of the solo, duo, or group activity. That some of the comments seem, well, seeded is inevitable, but I’m sure legitimate fappings will be recorded eventually.
I actually know a woman named Tamar, but she prefers creampies. Go figure.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Intimate Moods – now with a duck; Livingston Taylor at the Wombat Room
See also: Fap Map
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