IAFD boss Vanzetti: “Nowadays you just see a guy ramming himself into something, and then pulling out and jerking off on that thing’s face.”

You’d think that, facing extinction, humanity wouldn’t bother with condoms.

“Conan” combines the cheese of a Jim Holliday 90′s-era classic with all the regrettable tattoos, piercings, implants, gym memberships, greenscreens, and bald pussies today’s porn consumers crave. “Conan” is a fun throwback.

“Fleshlightning” is like “Agnes of God” meets “Bikini-clad Cum Sluts” and without Thetans.

drake, on loan from Wicked for this movie, doesn’t have to deal with that company’s condom policy

Who would do such a thing if he didn’t want to be congratulated for it?

“This Ain’t The Fountainhead” is the only porn movie that comes with a building

Sex educators/futurists jessica drake and Leonard Cohen predict alternate entries

You say that Worf is brown, and you want a Triple X Ro-down?

“Yeah, that’s a lot of sperm getting on me,” notes drake. “That’s why I take off the blue dress.”

Grid your loins, porn fans!

“The recent proliferation of new porn awards is a sure sign the world economy is rebounding,” World Trade Organization Director-General Pascal Lamy did not say.

Andy San Dimas fucks the entire surviving citizenry of the planet Krypton in Axel Braun’s “Superman XXX,” which makes her a shoo-in for next year’s Best Interspecies Gangbang award.

It is hypocritical and silly to attract readers to porn-related content on a website but then refuse to link to the source of that information in dubious deference to customers.

I knew I was dealing with serious Trekkies when Giles, the British Patrick Stewart lookalike whose business card features the actor dressed as both Jean-Luc Picard and Dr. Xavier from “X-Men,” used the word “canonical.”

I have worked in the adult industry long enough to respect the double standards on which it is built, and some of these require a great deal of finesse to negotiate.

Price shows what the Kinect can and cannot see, and we find that, unless there’s a hack available, we won’t be seeing the Kinect at the TSA booth anytime soon.

Even if the 3D didn’t really pan out, selected parts of Sarah Vandella meet the audience halfway.

“When I started my clit was already bigger than regular people,” she said, “but pumping makes your body part really sensitive.”

People are still figuring out how to use social media. Is it a turbine that can generate power and money from the water of our intense narcissism? Is it part of a much larger toolbox of promotion? Or is it just silly—after all, how can you take the name “Twitter” seriously?