Muggles, hobbits, servants, the people from “Snatch,” maybe Don Cheadle—I’m not sure and don’t want to look it up but I’m thinking of “Ocean’s 11″—governesses, the googly, saying “cunt” with fewer people getting offended, definitely not “Riverdance,” Stephen Fry, and River Song. These are the only things anyone knew about England, until now.
Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Petra Joy
Starring: Lili La Chrosse, Marc Cuirass, , Emilia Ren, Adam Scarlet, Violeta Storm, Maximus, Marco Kalistar, Maxxx, Chris
There are a lot of refreshing things about Petra Joy’s “Female Fantasies,” not the least of which are the mostly British cast, crew, and locations. Not only that, but five cumshots were missed during the shooting of the movie.
If this were an American movie, we would demand an accounting: Where did those cumshots go? But it’s British, so we just assume the cumshots went on walkabout.
Q. But Grams, a walkabout is an Australian term.
A. They know who they are.
In entertaining Behind the Scenes footage, director Petra Joy introduces us to a fun cast who have great chemistry together.
Are they “real people” as Joy claims? Perhaps they are real people who just happen to be comfortable with their clothes off, having sex on film, but that makes them no different from porn performers.
What “real people” is code for, of course, is “not porny looking.” A while ago I reviewed Elegant Angel’s “Best New Starlets 2013” and lamented that none of these bite-sized waiflings could hold a candle to a florid barmistress from a Graham Greene novel or Gram Ponante fantasy.
Well, the barmaids have shown up and they are not bound by any DORA rules.
In several fun scenes Joy examines female fantasies of feathery, masked groping, dudes masturbating in the shower, gay men, Sapphic food-based fondling, and—in a scenario more familiar to consumers of Porn Valley fare—a 3-way featuring two mechanics and their female customer (except the steering wheel is on the right).
(This scene is also given a damning porn parody treatment in the Extras section.)
I liked this movie because I was immediately comfortable with the performers. They were all happy to be there. I wanted to eat dinner with them and then steal off with one, perhaps two of them.
I was reminded of when my dad would come staggering home to the bomb shelter in our back yard, some agreeable and blowsy music hall temptress on his arm, shaking his fist at the air raid sirens, and telling the Nazis to bugger off.
Yes, this movie made me feel like I was 6-year-old London schoolboy in 1943. But things were better then.
· Buy “Female Fantasies” (tlavideo.com)
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Samantha Bentley on the set of “Young Harlots in Venice”
See also: Petra Joy
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