I interrupt the interminable year in review coverage with the final two movies I received here at Gram Ponante Towers, Heliport, Holodeck, Caverns, Slaughterhouse/Steakhouse, House of Parliament, and Pesticiderie moments ago.
It seems that we can spend so much thought this time of year rehashing what it all meant that we forget that the answers are often in a yellow Hustler bubble mailer, sent from Beverly Hills at a cost of $2.36.
We talked a lot about money, politics, individual freedoms, and what defines a MILF this year, but doesn’t it all boil down to the fact that, in the end, the young sluts didn’t win?
Young Sluts Inc. 20, which seems to be about women who take the initiative (Faye Reagan slaps her boyfriend’s book out of his hands so he will service her, Evie Delatosso comes home and attacks her unresisting spouse), takes place in a house. Do you think that’s because they’re incorporated? Is it an insurance issue?
Barely Legal 90, on the other hand, features women of roughly the same age passive-aggressively ensnaring not-reluctant men in leafy glades (Nikki Sky seduces the yard worker, Tanner Mayberry “forgets” to bring her swimsuit to her neighbor’s pool).
Q. But how does this affect you, Grams?
A. Well, while I cannot countenance passive-aggressive behavior and generally like straightforward people, you’d think I’d prefer a Young Sluts-type woman. But no – I liked the Barely Legal girls, whose boxcover motto was “…ready to tap into their inner slut.” Why? Probably because I liked the yards. I need to get out of the city.
But you’re wondering what the December 31 arrival of these movies means for 2009. So am I, my friends.
It means that people will tolerate all sorts of bad behavior as long they can have sex outdoors. So discharge something else on your goddamn lawn tonight.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Barely Legal 75 – Stacks of nudes spotted in Sunland; Meet Ashley Orion; Nymphetamine; “This girl is half his age.”
See also: Hustler
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