Hustler has a series called, redundantly, XXX. As if everything the company did wasn’t already XXX-rated, the XXX series seems to say No Seriously – This Is Really, Really XXX. In Fact, We’re Surprised You Were Even Able To Maintain An Erection Through Any of That Other Crap.
What Hustler should do is launch a series called XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. That way consumers would know that what they’re buying is 15 times more explicit.
Another thing that poses problems in the porn world is the fact that the Roman numeral for ten is X, and three Xs make 30. That is the reason why many people cannot access recent SuperBowl information from work computers, because the NFL steadfastly refuses to abandon Roman numerals in the face of the porn onslaught.
I was present at the filming of Hustler’s XXX 30 (which at the time was known as XXX 27. I don’t know why). But now Hustler has released XXX 31, featuring Alexis Texas (which itself supplies two Xs, for a combined total of – and I’m no maths major – 9,000 Xs) and Desire Moore. Otto (which means eight, so now we’re up to 72,000) Bauer gets on Texas while Moore is serviced by a Cylon.
With all those Xs, you actually get to see Texas’ colon be shot through someone else’s colon, exploded by a bomb squad, and then its debris spoon-fed to barely legal cum-guzzling teens, milves, wolves, dwarves, and people with false senses of themselves. It is so explicit, in fact, that there appears to be a dollop of splooge coating the 31.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Introducing the hardline according to Hustler; Kissy Kapri has a secret
See also: Hustler
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