Nowhere Angels

Studio: Metro/Cal Vista
Director: DCypher
Cast: Riley Mason, Justine Joli, Leah Luv, Veronica Jett, Charlotte Stokely, Cassie Courtland, Barrett Blade, Eric Masterson

Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot

Rachel (Justine Joli) asks us to forgive another tale of post-adolescent angst as she narrates from her diary. Well, OK. As long as it’s you who’s asking…

Rachel wastes her time in a nowhere town with her nowhere boyfriend, Tommy, who orders burgers while she eats fish sticks. The relationship is doomed. She reads Anais Nin at Tommy’s band practice and his buddies call her Yoko. Get out of there!

Rachel loves Lauren (Riley Mason), but Lauren is fucking Tommy.

Their days are spent on parties and getting prepared for parties.

“They were just diversions from the realization that our lives were going nowhere,” Rachel says.

I would like to say that Joli’s world changes when she refuses to be someone’s coke whore and Leah Luv agrees to it instead, but that’s not the way it is in that dusty town.

She wishes Tommy would be content to fuck all her friends and not waste his time trying to fuck her (her love belongs to another). She longs to get out, but will she suddenly miss everything that she has left behind?

Sympathetic lead Damien (Eric Masterson) meanwhile has similar lofty dreams. Will he be published as a writer? He quotes Kerouac and hangs around near walls with “Pynchon” spraypainted on them. He is stuck in a marriage and a mortgage. His wife (Veronica Jett) is a crankhead who hooks on the side to make up for what his shitty bookstore job doesn’t earn him.

“I know now how foolish and fragile and intoxicating hope can be for a young soul in a corporate-owned world,” Damien says.

DCypher is going to pay bigtime for stealing my life story.

Veronica Jett thinks her husband is a big pussy, reading his books and weeping into the night.

“We are the angels of nowhere; the candle’s last pretty flicker before the candle goes dark,” she says. Zing!

Maybe those Nowhere Angels have lost their souls in their dusty high-desert debauches, but at least they have each other, and their music. Despite their lousy attitudes, too, their girlfriends are pretty hot. I don’t know why everyone is so goddamn whiny.