Gram Ponante: America's Beloved Porn Journalist

One in the Cinco, six in the stinko

Some little-known facts about Cinco de Mayo include that it was actually fought on Breed’s Hill, that it wasn’t entirely about slavery, and that the “snakes” were Protestants. Other than that, it really is all about Nadia Styles’ ass.

Hustler’s Barrio Booty 6 couldn’t have arrived at a better time, as I am currently mixing up a vat of margaritas that I intend to use on the sadder, wiser, older sisters of girls celebrating their quinceneras today.

I’d like to tell you that watching Barrio Booty 6 was like a trip to East Los Angeles, complete with mariachis, the tender reconciliation of the old ways and the new, donkeys being gunned down in the street, chupacabra empanadas served with chicharones, swine flu, and the Virgin Mary appearing nightly atop a taco truck that is forced to relocate every two hours – like her divine Son did – but I would be nothing but a liar, a straight mentirosa, if I told you that.

Instead, we get to see Styles, the ripe and delicious Emma Cummings and Felony, Aliana Love, and Monica Morales visiting the same room as their costars did, pose ass up on the same rug, and take one like the Virgin of Guadalupe never did.


Which is fine by me.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: When life gives you gapes, make lemonade; Out of frame with Eva Dior; Cinco de Mayo – “I’ll let you see my bewbs”; A Patriotic Pussy Party
See also: Hustler

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Article by Gram the Man

Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist Gram the Man tagged this post with: , , , , , , , , Read 4081 articles by
3 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Christopher says:

    “Straight Mentirosa”… was that a Mellow Man Ace reference or just coincidence?

  2. Gram the Man says:

    It was utterly a Mellow Man Ace reference and, quien sabe? Y manana otra cosa…

  3. Christopher says:

    You da Man, G-Money.

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