Ava Rose: Last, butt not greased

A while ago I attended the filming of a movie called (at least it was that day) Big Butt Oil Orgy. This is my final story from that heady day. A tarp was put down, women were oiled, and a pleasant time was almost had.

But that which made what could have been merely a pleasant day an excellent day was the presence of Ava Rose, who emerged from her Garbo-like cocoon with the help of various lubes, unguents, and jellies.

“I’m not a hustler,” she said when I asked where she’d been.

In fact, she spent much of the day hiding behind shrubbery, similar to when I’d seen her at theSurrender of O release party.

“I’m not the type of person to say ‘Hey! Hire Me!’ and ‘Hey! Look at my MySpace page!'” she said.

I’ve never understood why anyone would need a MySpace page if they’re already naked. It seems like overkill.

But then, I’m old fashioned. I look at Ava Rose and think that she is just the type of person my grandpappy in Bogue Chitto would have liked, would have kept a photograph of dressed in a simple, straining gingham dress while he fought the Germans, would have been shocked to find had been sleeping with his best friend all through the war, would have forgiven instantly upon seeing her landing strip covered in baby oil, writhing on some cheap sheets with Sophie Dee.

Rose is not a Type A Porn Valley shark. Instead, she was worried about this fly which had probably met its end between any one of seven sets of oily cleavage that day.

All right. I lied for the purpose of a catchy headline: Rose’s butt was unbelievably greased. You could just … slide right up in there and never come back.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Anatomy of an oil orgy; Oral fixations at Erotica L.A.
See also: Third Degree Films