Boxcover of the Week: Think Like the Bug

Naturally, the first thing I thought of when confronted with Sophia Sutra’s delightful vulva was the Brain Bug from “Starship Troopers.” But in a good way.

This doesn’t dissuade me from my strong belief that the American educational system should eradicate plaid skirts from its classrooms, however.

I think any school in the country that still requires plaid skirts ought to be closed down. Damn your higher ideals and Slut Walks; porn has so effectively co-opted and corrupted the plaid skirt that wearing one is a tacit admission that what lies beneath is open for business. It is an unpardonable act of cultural illiteracy not to think so.

For the record, I also believe:

  • Wearing Drakkar Noir makes you Armenian
  • Only art school models think people don’t consider having sex with art school models
  • There are better exercise machines than home stripper poles, but there are no better exercise machines that also say “I want to get laid more often” than home stripper poles
  • People who think that Mexicans are stealing our jobs are idiots
  • The person who says “I’m a very sexual person” isn’t very good at it

Is it prejudiced and perhaps intellectually lazy to believe the above? Perhaps. But I want to save you some cash on your next lap dance purchase.

Anyway, here’s Sophia Sutra on the cover of “Fresh Outta High School 21.” Myself, I was 17 when I got outta high school, and I had a classmate who graduated when she was just 14.

Then there’s the occasional teen mom or thug who drops out, so being “fresh outta high school” is really no indicator of whether it’s legal for you to shoot porn or not.

Nevertheless, Sutra is of legal age but clings to the past. Even though she has graduated high school and is now an adult, she chooses to wear her old school uniform. Unfortunately, it doesn’t fit.

But I don’t care. All the arachnids on Klendathu couldn’t convince me that Sophia Sutra’s pussy isn’t worth citizenship.

Frankly, the sight of a vulva peeking out like low-hanging fruit under a skirt is as evocative an invitation as I can think of; I don’t know of a porn pose more iconic, do you?

Just don’t tell me you’re fresh outta high school, because I keep thinking of Farzana Patel and how she got that scholarship to M.I.T. and how I bumped into her years later and she was working at the Pennsylvania D.M.V.

Buy “Fresh Outta High School 21” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Laura Doone—Hair Pie; “Turbo Rock”

About Gram the Man 4399 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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