Operation: Desert Stormy

Studio: Wicked
Director: Stormy Daniels
Cast: Stormy Daniels, Steven St. Croix, Nicole Sheridan, Jenna Haze, Eva Angelina, Kayleni Lei, Audrey Bitoni, Austin Kincaid, Lorena Sanchez, Melissa Lauren, Nakita Kash, Tory Lane, Veronica Rayne, Roxy Deville, Randy Spears, Marcus London, Tommy Gunn, Derrick Pierce, Tony DeSergio, Voodoo and Ron Jeremy.

Review by special correspondent Larry Smathers

You’ve got to give it to the folks at Wicked Pictures; these days their slick packaging rivals many mainstream releases, and the extra features on this three-disc set could choke a horse (this is an assumption, I did not try). Operation: Desert Stormy is one of Wicked’s largest productions to date and it shows; at times the spy-spoof looks up to the standard of a low end made-for-cable movie and that’s not a slam. Director Daniels is no James Cameron, but she and her crew sure know how to make the most out of what they have.

Operation: Desert Stormy starts with a nice take-off on a groovy James Bond credit sequence and then moves to an elegant dance between Randy Spears and Stormy Daniels. The dance continues into the bed, and after discarding all their weapons ala Harpo Marx, the two secret agents get down to some serous spy games, ending in a messy situation for Daniels.

Oh, but it’s all a dream and Daniels is really in bed with her boring husband (Steven St. Croix), who keeps reminding his wife he’s a real C.I.A agent and she’s just a secretary (“Everyone knows I’m the smart one” he insists), but their boss at the C.I.A. (Spears) gives Stormy a very important assignment, or so she thinks. Meanwhile, St.Croix takes off with a gadgets expert (Jenna Haze) and the two perform acts Bond and Q never thought of.

Spears leaves on mission to the South Pacific and does the dirty hula with Kaylani Lei, in a sequence that should have ended with Lei singing a chorus of “I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Outa My Hair.” But alas, the humor is saved for Ron Jeremy back in the Middle East as a sultan named Hussein who’s planning to destroy the U.S. Jeremy plays the role with his usual subtlety: sucking a giant ice slushy like a hookah, and telling his henchmen what he really wants to do is direct – porn! Hussein/Jeremy lives his dream by working the camera during a lesbian lick fest between two lovely harem girls.

Daniels and St.Croix put hard feelings aside and jet off to the Middle East to save the world from Hussein. A quick run in with some bad guys proves Stormy has a lot of girl power, but a gun that looks like it came from the aisles of Toy-R-Us. The couple teams with two British agents who are also on a mission, a mission not to save the world, but to have an orgy with the aforementioned harem girls. But fear not: St. Croix and Daniels save the day and end up back home with Stormy doing the dance that began the story, this time St.Croix has replaced Spears in the ballroom and the bedroom.

Operation: Desert Stormy seems out for yucks as much as anything erotic, but do people watch the comedic parts in flicks like this? St. Croix certainly works his best Jim Carrey shtick as he takes a taser to the groin, but it’s most likely all for naught, as viewers will just skip to the next sex scene. Maybe, the wacky antics are more for the actors than the audience, a way for Daniels and company to cut loose from the grind of making another skin flick. It’s kind of like Burt Reynolds and friends doing those Cannonball movies in the ‘80s, Burt and pals just wanted a few laughs, and so does Stormy I suppose. Maybe next time she’ll get Dom Deluise and a driving monkey to come along for the ride.