If the future is to be apocalyptic, as scholars agree, at least there should be nudity in it, and for months at a time.
365 And Occasionally 366, a trade publication for the calendar industry, reports that the biggest challenge facing purveyors of wall calendars is that people don’t look at them.
“It was October 13 before I remembered to turn the page of my ’12 Months of Linus’ calendar to October,” said Los Angeles resident Kam Fong of a calendar devoted to Linux creator Linus Torvalds. “I got it for Christmas so I put it on the wall, but I really just use my smartphone for my schedule.”
Much as the porn industry is battling a population increasingly unwilling to pay for its product, now that 94 percent of American women (and 103 percent of Brazil’s, including transsexuals) gratuitously flash for passersby an average of four times a day, the once-powerful wall calendar establishment is struggling to lure new customers and retain old ones.
Read more after the gap.
Industry experts say that the process of approaching the wall, removing and replacing the thumbtack (or nail), and changing the calendar page is becoming harder and harder for Americans, who are often torpid to the point of being bedridden.
Research has also indicated that some wall calendar users will like the picture accompanying one month better than that of another and refuse to change the page.
“It has altered my perception of Time,” said Norman Fell of Dearborn, MI, who liked the picture of Goofy in his Disney calendar so much that he has been living in March, 1978 since March, 1978.
That is why the 2008 Nerdcore Calendar is so special. Each page is great. In addition to traditional holidays, it also includes release dates for movies of interest to geeks, like Indiana Jones and Speed Racer, dates of sacred pilgrimages like San Diego’s Comic Con, the birthday of Jean Luc Picard, and the death date of Sarah Connor.
That and pictures of Justine Joli and Karlie Montana.
Produced in Toluca Lake, the 2008 Nerdcore Calendar features “heroines and their evil counterparts square off in quite revealing ways – a fully nude firestarter igniting her surroundings, a “super” lass undresses after a hard day’s night of battling bad guys, and a katana-wielding vixen, wearing a headband and not much else, shows a few ninjas who’s the real boss is. These are the powered-up ladies that watch over the city from downtown rooftops and can turn invisible with the snap of a finger.”
The 2008 Nerdcore Calendar costs $25 and will be available November 15. Early orders will be accompanied by a promotional poster.
Previously: Hotter than a Balrog
See also: Nerdcore
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