StoyaTM, Pig-Spanish for the verb To Be, has become Digital Playground’s newest contract performer.
“We wanted to cash in on the steveporn craze the emo kids are so concerned with,” no one associated with the company said. “We figured: ‘It’s less work’.”
Stoya’s assimilation into Digital PlayBorg was announced during last week’s Berlin Fair, an annual adult convention. She joins registered trademarks Jesse Jane, Shay Jordan, and Sophia Santi, the Katsumi/Katsuni hybrid, and the blissfully unfettered Teagan Presley. No accounting was made for Lacie Heart and Jana Cova in the accompanying press release.
Sources say that one more contract girl is in the offing. Digital Playground announced Katsumi and Lacie Heart within days of each other last December.
Our team of translators worked overtime parsing the press release, which seemed to peg Stoya as some kind of Predator-Next-Door:
Originally from the Carolina’s, Stoya is blessed with striking features and a lean, tight body. Completely natural, she stands tall at 5’7″ and weighs in at 125 lbs. Her pale skin is accentuated by dark hair and full, pouting lips. With an affliction for pain and suffering, Stoya defines herself only as an android from the future (emphasis added). She loves to make clothes, read good books and play with her cats. Truly unique and intensely passionate, Stoya takes pride in her nudity and general moody perception of the world.
Out of all the things that are kinda weird about this press release, the thing that sticks with me is: what, exactly, is a general moody perception of the world? Does she have an affliction for moodiness? What about her cats? If I were to offend them, would her Cats Sue Me?
Stoya has a lovely face that makes her outfit in this picture seem like a Halloween costume for a woman who ran out of ideas for the party and at the last minute decided to go for Slutty. I hope our operatives can talk with her before she starts adding the “TM” to her autographs, because then it will be too late.
Previously: Oh, And Lacie Heart, too; Katsumi to join Robby D.’s hand; Jesse Jane: Seen here last!; Babysitters
See also: Digital Playground, Rush
I’m not quite sure how one can be “completely natural” and also “an android from the future” (I’m trying to resist adding, “as opposed to those androids from the distant past.” …so much for self-control.)
This seems to imply that in the future the artificial humanoids are the norm, and that the pitiful remnants of Homo sapiens will be slowly and methodically hunted to extinction in the caverns under the crumbling remains of nuked out cities.
Now if Stoya is typical of this dystopian future then, hey, why not? Sounds like fun!
Personally, I like her outfit which, I assume, is what all the future woman-oids wear. The males no doubt have standardized on some sort of jumpsuit.
Oh, my lack of self-control is back, this time forcing me to mention that the proper term for a female android is a “gynoid.”
She worked for me for a hot minute last year.
Great girl.
She was much more “alt” looking last time I saw her.