This year’s XRCO Awards were a great fun time; a perfect encapsulation of the misplaced resentment, earnest good will, limited attention span, dark humor, poor planning, and uncalibrated sense of history that Porn Valley’s 4-decades-old adult industry is known for.

“Bitch, please,” she said. “I just used my willpower to keep it from getting on camera.”

If the MILF craze in porn proves that men are always trying to return to the womb, movies like “Fighters” suggests that all women want to jump in the sac.

Jesse Jane, Riley Steele, Kayden Kross, and Stoya all look so good in those flight suits that they would turn Kelly McGillis into a lesbian.

Today I came across (not literally) Miss Aileen Ghettman, a Score favorite from Marietta, Georgia. There is only one other porn person I’ve met from Marietta, Ashley Jane, and she looked like Miss Ghettman could eat her for lunch.

There are several reasons why “El Topo” can’t be a porn parody, chief among them that there are no roles for Kagney Linn Karter

You think anyone else is looking out for your best interest? Come over here, Baby: I’ll take care of you.

In a very real way, all porn is good. But the following titles were better.

Where I come from (GPS coordinates: 30.4813°N 89.7690°W), if you call someone thick, you are calling her retarded. And while having sex with the mentally disabled is arguably the subject matter of 90 percent of JM Video’s titles, it is that other meaning of “thick,” the one involving childbearing hips and breasts that dangle and [...]

I am beginning to feel that Adolf Hitler is Wurming his way back into public consciousness through porn. First Stoya’s Hakenkreuz Schamhaare, now Megan Fox. Maybe some people who’ve been around the business longer can comment on this, but years ago it did not seem like mainstream celebrities were as often compared to porn stars [...]

Several years ago Tina Tyler demanded I watch “The Doom Generation.” “Watch ‘The Doom Generation,’ Grams,” she said. “Why?” I said. “Just. It’s. Rose McGowan,” she said, becoming incoherent. “You’ll. Water! Thank me.” Rose McGowan is a dream I’d never want to wake up from, so I didn’t watch the movie until last night when, [...]

Erotica L.A. seemed packed the two days I attended, and that is an encouraging – though qualified – sign for Porn Valley’s most precious resource. The south hall of the L.A. Convention Center had been floorscaped to smaller dimensions than in previous years, so it was hard to move around. Crowds formed around Belladonna, consumers [...]

Stoya is being coy-a about the rumor that Marilyn Manson shaved a swastika on her pubes. “Well gosh Grams,” she said, “I have yet to see a recent photograph of my vagina and its pubic topiary, so right now it’s all just hearsay and rumors, isn’t it?” Yes. And that is why I contacted you [...]

In “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn,” a Depression-era working class mother of two brews more coffee than she needs, because the act of wasting something makes her feel rich. In Digital Playground’s “Stoya: Scream,” Evan Stone jerks off on a perfectly good piece of steak and Stoya, who in real life is a vegetarian, licks [...]