“Tru Lies”: Like the “Pina Colada Song,” but with no dunes

I visited the set of Sinsation Pictures’ “Tru Lies” in November, 2006.

Studio: Sinsation
Director: Dee
Cast: Brooke Banner, Marcus London, Chris Cannon, Mika Tan, Sledge Hammer, Jeanie Marie Sullivan, Presley Maddox, Jeremy Holmes, Nikki Hilton

Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot

Trudy and Mark seem to have a loveless marriage. He is bored at his job, and she wonders if he is bored with her, too (already this strains credibility, considering what she wears to pour coffee). Regardless, off he goes to work, and then the deceptions begin.

For Trudy is actually a secret agent who – believe it or not – uses sex as her calling card. Donning a black wig, she plants something on john Chris Cannon’s night table, and then proceeds to fuck him (for the government). While I think she could have just left when he went into the bathroom to clean up before their coupling, she went all the way, like an American.

Meanwhile, Brothel Boss Tanaka (Mika Tan, all crinkly in leather goods), demands extra service of her manservant.

“Stop being such a lazy fuck!” she demands.

Crime Boss Palermo, a loan shark, not only demands a 50 percent interest rate on loans, but also “a piece of your tight little ass.” In this case, the piece comes from Presley Maddox.

As if the rate of exchange wasn’t already a little confusing, Mark’s officemate needs to borrow his room for some (as his date calls it) “sweet lovin.'” The date, like Trudy before her, is also a spy. Taking advantage of his freshening up, she steals a CD from Mark’s desk, but then proceeds to have sex with his officemate.

“I got exackly what I needed,” the second spy says at the end, come on her face.

The viewer by this point might be forgiven for wondering how these scenes are connected, other than the fact that the characters seem to be spies or criminals.

I might be going out on a limb here, but at no time does sex really need to happen in this movie. (Though I’m glad it does.)

The deception can’t last forever, and by the end of the day Mark is at Boss Tanaka’s bordello. She blindfolds him, saying she has a surprise, and in walks Trudy in yet another wig. Somehow the three get through most of a throwdown before Trudy realizes Mark is her husband. She doesn’t even cock her head like Scooby when she figures it out.

For a movie to have a plot, it must have a budget for one. The budget of this movie was big enough so that there was no excuse for the plot holes, often dismal lighting, and sometimes lackluster acting. My argument is that if money has been paid for a script, then the execution and proofreading of that script shouldn’t be an afterthought.

Otherwise, Tru Lies is chock full of leggy and juicy eye candy, and Tan, seemingly directing herself, delivers a fun performance.

But “Tru Lies” here

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