A Bree grows in Stoya: Two porn industry responses to the recession

In “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn,” a Depression-era working class mother of two brews more coffee than she needs, because the act of wasting something makes her feel rich.

In Digital Playground’s “Stoya: Scream,” Evan Stone jerks off on a perfectly good piece of steak and Stoya, who in real life is a vegetarian, licks off his marinade. The steak is then discarded.

This conspicuous consumption is one response to a freefalling economy; it says that you have the financial wherewithal to render useless by means of your ejaculate something that would keep a poor family from starving.

In Adam & Eve’s “Bree’s Big Campout,” however, the resourceful Ms. Olson returns to the land, reducing her carbon footprint by wearing as few clothes as possible, and even skinnydipping in other people’s pools rather than wasting resources by building her own.

I applaud Bree Olson’s “Use it up, wear it out, make it do, do without” approach in these tough times.

Q. Grams, if you’re so fiscally conservative, why, then, don’t you advocate Validated Internal Popshots (VIPs) over all this wasteful facial load-dropping?
A. Because if the nation’s contract stars are impregnated it becomes difficult to reuse them.

Of course, if either Stoya or Bree Olson came by Gram Ponante Towers, Hooverville, Shantytown, Soup Kitchen, or St. Vincent de Porn Society and requested that I snort ground up food stamps off their parts and defile them on blocks of government cheese, I’d drive my Escalade through an unemployment line to be at home in time.

• Stoya Scream: Because you can’t say “Boobies” without “Boo”
• Bree’s Big Campout: Bree pitches a tent

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: What would you do with Katrina Angel for $600?; Money is tight, but Audrey Hollander is not a whore; Porn economics – vaginas and gas
See also: Adam & Eve, Digital Playground