And on the 8th Day, God blew up Boston

8th1BELLFLOWER, Calif. (GP:PVO) — It was all supposed to go so well.

Dr. Alexander’s Zero Point Energy Generator was designed to rid the world of its dependence on fossil fuels, ushering in a green era of clean energy, clean air, and clean water. But 42 years after the device backfired, sending the earth into a new dark age and obliterating most of its population, – OH WAIT THIS IS A PORN MOVIE.

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Here in a dusty paintball arena southeast of Los Angeles, porn stars Kayden Kross, Amber Rayne, and a cast of nearly fifty extras labor under the hot sun and catch cover in an impressive five acre lot of abandoned and sandblasted trailers, military buildings, and city buses (one of which came from the city of Boston), which on any other day would be this paintball field, the playground of lucky, healthy teenagers and dangerous, unhinged 40-year-olds.

Filming here is Ren Savant’s The 8th Day, a post-apocalyptic porno for Adam & Eve. Newcomers to porn might not know Savant, but another number-themed movie of his for Vivid, Seven Deadly Sins, cleaned up at the 2000 AVN awards. Since then he has been a technical advisor and cinematographer, but apparently the chance to work with the eerily perfect Kayden Kross and indulge his desire to see the city of Boston destroyed proved too tempting.

I made that last part up. Adam & Eve has no desire to blow up Boston. Internal documents reveal that if any city were to be destroyed for the purpose of a porn movie, it would be Brockton, MA, which would save a lot of money because it looks destroyed already.

So how did it happen that corn-fed and sun-dappled kickboxer and equestrian Kross found herself beyond Thunderdome? It turns out that Dr. Alexander was her dad, and the last bright thing he did was get all Walt Disney on his daughter. (Perhaps that wasn’t clear; he put her to sleep, he didn’t let his successors market all the humanity out of her.) The 8th Day opens as Kross’ character, Samantha, wakes up and finds that Los Angeles is a desert town filled with mutants.

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Q. But Grams, Los Angeles is already a –
A. Shut up. I’m making the jokes here. Do I come to your work and deliver the mail for you?

According to several anonymous sources, the budget for this movie was $150,000. It includes nine days of shooting interrupted by a hiatus in which Kross goes to New Zealand for an adult show there and returns, sounding like an elf-maiden or Uruk-hai. On set with her today is Amber Rayne as Mel, a survivor “scav” who leads her through the wreckage of the city, for which this not-so-manufactured urban wasteland is the ideal set.

Adam & Eve’s other contract performer, Bree Olson, will also be in the movie.

Also on hand are fifty extras from an L.A. casting agency. Porn performer Lexi Lamour is today working as the wardrobe mistress and she dresses people up the way popular culture suggests will be the style in a post-Revelation world: the women look like slutty Wilma Flintstones and the men look like Rob Halford.

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The scenes shot today include lots of nudity but no sex. Rayne leads Kross through a bazaar (designed by Kylie Ireland) in which future-hookers hawk their wares and Heidi Mayne is tattooed. (Nostradamus predicted Mayne will be getting tattooed until at least 2112.) Kross looks wholesome in an Oxford shirt and no pants. Everyone else is grimy. The crowd listens to the sermon of “The Prince,” a dark-complected man in a flowing gown who delivers a monologue about the evils of science.

The actor playing the Prince is lifted, along with scantily-clad minions Violet Marcell and Darryl Hanah, to a watchtower overlooking the park, where he delivers his five-minute sermon word for word from memory at least five times for different camera angles. The women are not allowed to flash from that height, as a kids’ soccer team is practicing in the next field, well within nipple-sighting range.

This is a problem for Hanah, who has difficulty not being at least partially naked for more than ten minutes at a time.

In Adam & Eve’s history it has several times tried to brand a project with its company name, but it has had little success. There was last year’s ill-fated Eden and the very promising but fruitless Search for Adam And Eve, which would have plucked from the non-porn public, for lack of a better term, a “contract couple.” That project was plagued with wood problems, gonorrhea, and backstage squabbling (though it is my favorite performance by Carmen Luvana).

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But with The 8th Day not only does the Prince introduce a flashback to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, but (according to the script), Kross gets crucified in the end. So the movie one-ups the Bible in getting Genesis, the Gospels, and the aftermath of the apocalypse in one movie. Think of the catalog sales!

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But in sun-blighted Bellflower and Eden alike, there are those who need to be driven out. There were a few extras who had not received the memo that their $64 day rate did not allow them to be rude to the stars. One man approached Amber Rayne and asked how many cocks she could fit in her mouth, and then suggested “three.” Producer Mark Logan fired him (and his ride) immediately. That’s how we roll in the future.

Since photography on The 8th Day will be completed in mid-September, the movie will not be ready in time to be considered for January’s AVN awards, which dictate that candidates need to be on store shelves by the end of September of the previous year. Instead, the movie is set for release in early February, aided no doubt by a big push at the convention.

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I wanted very much to get a photo of Rayne and Kross in front of the burnt out Boston bus, but light was not on my side and I like to blend seamlessly into proceedings, like Marcus Brody, rather than hold things up by dragging naked starlets through the dirt, which I can do at home. So I caught up with Kross in the locker area upstairs, where she gamely obliged me in a series of non-themed poses. I just said, “May I take your picture?” and she whipped her clothes off and proceeded through several industry-standard poses.

I did not once ask how many cocks she could take in her mouth, because if one has to ask that sort of question, the answer is invariably “not yours.”

See The 8th Day backstage gallery here.

Previously: From Carmen to Kayden; Beating up Amber Rayne at the American Hotel; Dana Vespoli from 2004 – just because; Feather beyond Thunderdome; Porn screenwriting: Money can buy a happy ending
See also: Adam & Eve

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