“The bonobos, they have large clitorises that they’ll rub together,” says Dr. Susan Block backstage at her weekly eponymous internet show. “Sometimes they get so into it that they fall out of the tree.”
Last Saturday’s Dr. Susan Block Show featured Penthouse Pets Ryan Keely, Phoenix Marie, Isis Taylor, and Mckenzee Miles chatting it up about masturbation on Block’s four-poster bed. Keely, who appeared on the show with both new breasts and a new Los Angeles address, finished Masturbation Month with a bang and a toy, managing to rub one out for both the studio audience and web subscribers.
“My bush helps,” she says. “There’s some extra friction.”
But back to the bonobos.
Block sees in these primates a shameless and wholesome example of the fluid and non-possessive sexuality humans must strive for. Her Bonobo Way lectures and website espouse “Peace through Pleasure.”
The Bonobo Way is so different from the Way I am familiar with:
“So they rub against each other and fall out of trees?” I say. “Like Treebadism?”
“It’s called tribadism,” says Block.
Block hosts her weekly salons on the top floor of a warehouse near downtown Los Angeles. From the outside of the gated and secure complex the visitor can see pink and purple lights through the windows, and the nipples of starlets bouncing by like cat ears. There are catered snacks, a well-stocked bar, comfy couches, and televisions throughout the complex in addition to the seating by the bed/stage area. Tickets run about $50.
On the bed, Phoenix Marie and Ryan Keely sit side by side, with Taylor and Miles in back. Along with the charming Nikki Benz, Penthouse has picked great ambassadors in Phoenix Marie and Ryan Keely, who recall the glory days of the magazine as well as know the ins and outs of interacting with fans in ways their predecessors were never expected to.
Marie makes sure to spell out her Twitter handle (@PMarizzle) slowly for the audience.
Later, the host and guests try their best to answer a caller, who asks if any of them has ever taken it up the ass (I get the feeling that this caller is as beloved as he is tolerated).
“As much as I can,” Marie says.
“Not on camera—yet,” says Keely.
“Haven’t you been listening to the show?” scolds Block.
After too long a hiatus, having lived in New Orleans, New York, and San Francisco, native Angelena Keely is back in Los Angeles following a series of adventures, not the least of which were her new boobs.
“Is it OK for you to feel them?” she says to me, knowing that I am a United States Senator. “I really like their weight.”
In addition to the tact, poise, and diplomacy that will suit her in any position, Keely looks really great backed up against some iron bars in a clingy white dress. A Los Angeles with Keely in it seems like a better Los Angeles.
Kelly Shibari and Tim von Swine are there, alternately plying me with drinks and explaining Asian pubic hair (Shibari) and telling me the Bruins will get swept by the Canucks (von Swine).
After the show, I linger until 3 a.m. and leave the party in full swing.
Had I been wearing a housecoat instead of the sleek black attire that makes me look like a 70’s French assassin, I would have totally emptied a plate of delicious meatballs into my pockets.
But I don’t think that’s the Bonobo Way.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Home for Eros Day with Dr. Suzy; Phoenix Marie makes it easy to follow the rules; No Sex in the Sherman Room
See also: Dr. Susan Block, Penthouse, Phoenix Marie on Twitter, Ryan Keely
Re: 70’s French Assassins, are there perchance any porn titles in this vein? I hadn’t considered it before, but a porn version of Le Samourai would probably be in my top three list of The Very Best Things Ever (Wanking Edition).