Though there will be at least 600 more adult adaptations of movies, TV shows, and celebrities this year, forward-thinking pornographers are already planning the next wave of parodies: classic albums.
“We’ve already got the Beatles catalog locked, ” says Loup Perch Tounge of Turgid Pictures, which has released “Rubber Hole,” “Beatles ’69,” the Asian-themed “Yellow Submarine Fever,” and the Viscous Album. “And we’re really excited about ‘Let It Be All Over Your Face,’ where Andy San Dimas fucks Kagney Linn Karter on the rooftop, and Jada Fire plays Billy Preston.”
Celebrity sex tapes, porn parodies, and stealing copper wiring have kept the adult industry afloat for the past several years, and producers are always looking for new angles.
“We were at the Lamplighter when we heard the Genesis song ‘ABACAB,'” says Diastolic Studios president Ferd Janklow, who just wrapped production of “ABACABOTGM,” a 9-scene fuckfest starring Evan Stone as Phil Collins and James Deen as Mike Rutherford, with a bonus scene depicting unreleased B-side “Paperlate” as a bukkake.
“We thought, ‘that whole album would be great as a porn movie.'”
While at first the idea of vinyl LPs as porn movies was difficult to sell (the prog rock-inspired “91311” starring aging Vivid-Alt performers did not fare well with Yes fans), consumers in the form of BitTorrent pirates seem to be coming around.
“Oddly enough, it was the (anti-piracy crusader) Metallica parody, ‘Enter Sandwoman,’ that really got things going,” says former AVNOnline editor Ken Michaels. “I’m looking forward to ‘Saint Assgape.'”
By the September 30 deadline for AVN Award consideration, Vivid’s Axel Braun will have released ‘Spermophenia’ (production manager Eli Cross recently tweeted that he had built a Vespa scooter that doubled as a dildo), Hustler will drop “This Ain’t Songs in the Key of Life” starring Lexington Steele, and gay producer Michael Lucas will have finished “Men II Boyz.”
Also, if you believe FurryGirl, Madison Young will release the covers of Nirvana’s “Nevermind,” Blind Faith’s self-titled album, and Led Zeppelin’s “Houses of the Holy” without any changes to the artwork whatsoever.
“This is tremendously fertile soil that I can’t imagine going dry anytime soon,” says Tounge, though he acknowledges that releasing a record album porn parody isn’t a license to print money.
“Just because you can make ‘Exile on Poon Street’ or ‘Born to Cum’ or ‘The Low Spark of High-Heeled Boys’ [all of which have been made since this interview-Ed.] doesn’t mean you should,” Tounge says. “Porn consumers know quality when they see it.”
Referring to Wicked’s recent “Tap That Ass-estry,” Tounge adds, “Putting a wig on Stormy Daniels doesn’t make her Carole King.”
But enough attention has been paid to classic album porn parodies that studios are starting to invest larger sums of money into prestige projects. Private’s big-budget Elton John parody “Goodbye Yellow Thick Load” is now filming in Ibiza and Digital Playground has announced plans to shoot “Van Halen III-way” with Jesse Jane as Gary Cherone.
“We were going to do something with [Marilyn Manson’s] ‘Mechanical Animals,'” a Digital Playground source says, “but Stoya wasn’t onboard.”
And how do the original artists feel about their work being co-opted for porn?
Says Janklow, who is auditioning Go-Go’s lookalikes for the upcoming “All Four Lips Are Wide Fucking Open,” “Did you see Belinda Carlisle and Jane Weidlin splashing around in that fountain? This is the logical conclusion of every rock star’s fantasy.”
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Crucifellatio—its origin and basis in science; Thomas Aquinas becomes Digital Playground contract saint; Niche Alert—The Nipless Fuck
See also:
You mention porn and needles, and I think “heroin.” *sighs*
Anywhom, this really should be a joke post. I really, really want this to be a joke post, that porn isn’t abusing album and/or song titles… but I guess that’s too much to ask for.
Surely this means there will be a film entitled ‘Back In Black’?
If it is by a studio called ‘AC/DC’ the film may involve a tranny or two.
“For those about to lose a cock, we salute you.”
It’s a joke post that will probably happen, like Sarah Palin.
Better her than Bachmann :-/