I went to college with a guy named Brian and a woman named Jennifer (as did many of us). One day, Brian came into our dorm’s common room, prior to the television being tossed out the window, and said: “Jen’s got nips that are two and a half inches out.” Read more about my confusion [...]

I thought for a second that she was giving birth and that the child was exiting the way Superman flies.

Each of us has acquaintances who don’t work for the Porno-Industrial Complex who say pithy things like “So, how do you review a porn movie? ‘I came three times’?” and “That guy says he’s not gay but he’s got a tattooed arrow pointing to his ass?” and I’m all like, “You don’t understand.” Another joke [...]

I prefer the term “cougar” to “MILF” because the former doesn’t require all the fact-checking the latter does. Cougar just means a hot older woman who happens to be predatory (as they often get in their 30′s). While the cougars in this movie don’t act differently from the teens in most other movies (director Anton [...]

While the adult industry has yet to agree on a MILF definition, VCA Labs has attempted to set in place an integral part of the coming MILF infrastructure: a font which debuted on the MILF Country compilation. It, too, has become the object of controversy. “I understand that to be considered a MILF, a woman [...]

“I concentrate on the M in MILF,” said Grip Johnson, reclusive co-director of Chatsworth Pictures’ MILF Meat 6, in an exclusive Easter interview. Each of the women in his movie has physically borne a child and, according to my research, vaginally. As we circle closer to a recognized MILF standard, it is indisputable that the [...]

I have been traveling the highways and byways of Porn Valley this week asking people just what they think a MILF is. I have yet to hear the same definition twice. In general, though, it is women who are the literalists and the men who tend to be a little more laissez faire in their [...]

As you well know, a porn teen and an actual teen are rarely the same thing, but that is a problem that is too big for us to tackle. That is why we at Gram Ponante Towers, Rotisserie, Clambake, Crematorium, and Salmon Ladder are proud to announce the International MILF Registry, which will solve the [...]

“Did you work with the Clydesdales?” I asked.

“Yeah. But it’s weird: the companies that you do promotions for just want you to be sexy in a swimsuit, but they don’t want you to be too sexy.”