Christy Canyon’s archival boobs

When women with large breasts do it, apparently, stalking is adorable. That is how Christy Canyon responded when my large-breasted friend Alix Lakehurst went on a cross-country road trip to meet and fawn over the 80’s porn icon. But my request for an interview with the Night Calls host and autobiographer was met with silence.…

The Undulabulous life of April Flores

Sometimes when watching a porn movie I think the actress might break. I look at her ribs and, sometimes, the little carved out area where the thigh meets the groin, all as rigid and stark as her premature bolt-ons and I think, “Just let me make you a bowl of pesto.” Not April Flores. The…

Chubby Twats: An Important Film

Dear Readers: Not since Transsexual Jerk-offs has there been a porn title that could double as something we might have called each other, devoid of any sexual connotation, in eighth grade. “What’s that transsexual jerk-off doing in my locker?”“Chubby twat’s stealing your Megatron poster, dude.” See? Confusing. Anyway, I was interested to see if this…

Walk (Alix Lakehurst) every day into a shady place

Alix Lakehurst, back from rehab and high on life (who knew she was on drugs?) plays Kim Deal or No Deal for her fans on her website. When asked “Where is my mind?” Lakehurst responded, “Try your pants.” Previously: Girls Loving Girls mini-review; Riding on the MetroSee also: Alix Lakehurst

April Flores, Alix Lakehurst, and Mr. Skin

Two of my favorite people talk with each other in a recent article on Mr. Skin.com. Alix Lakehurst interviewed April Flores for the Chicago-based mainstream movie nudity website and the Kiss Attack performer talked about working with Belladonna, idolizing Rita Hayworth, and being her own favorite porn star. Read the article here. Previously: April Flores:…

No Easter for Alix Lakehurst

Alix Lakehurst is Greek, and lives in Chicago. We talked by computer, the way they do in Space. One thing about Alix Lakehurst (who interviewed me for Mr. Skin), is that, like Mike Wallace, she conducts her interviews topless. I, on the other hand, wore a full iron diving bell. I asked what she was…

On the road with Alix Lakehurst

“It’s a fantasy of mine to be a fantasy of someone else’s,” said Alix Lakehurst, a Chicago porn actress who is a throwback to a brassier, fleshier time. Lakehurst makes me think of Gina Gershon, but not because she’s little and ropy. “I took my porn (last) name from the movie theatre I first went…

Alix Lakehurst and her Mountains of Madness

Gentlemen: No doubt you have heard whispered in forbidden hallways and perhaps studied in ancient and eldritch tomes the weird and extra-geometrical dizziness from beyond time that is Alix Lakehurst of Chi-ka-goh. Many learned men have attempted her, and none have returned whole, some reduced to gibbering madness and others to a primordial ooze known…

Alix Lakehurst: Riding on the Metro

Maybe Chicago’s Transit Authority is not called the Metro, but Alix Lakehurst’s recent adventure on the train was a lot sexier than While You Were Sleeping (though I do watch that movie at Christmas, just not for prurient reasons). Ms. Lakehurst sets up her camera on the train and proceeds to insert a discreet bullet…