I hear that journalists courted to promote Eli Roth’s “Hostel” movies were actually flown on junkets to Eastern Europe, where they were then fucked by models and disemboweled. Porn companies, working with limited budgets, need to be more creative.
For example, Wicked’s “Operation: Tropical Stormy” marketing team sent me a box containing the movie, a medium teal “OTS”-branded tank top, an extra large white “OTS” t-shirt, and, in a delightful reference to the dog-eating North Korean Jong Il character sure to be a hit with Stormy’s huge Asian fan base, a bottle of “Operation Tropical Stormy Flaming Poodle BBQ Sauce.”
My comfort woman, MacArthur Park, and I enjoyed the BBQ sauce on our morning breakfast of crawdads, grits, and a corn-, oat-, beef-, fish-, and boudoinpone medley.
Like Stormy, it sure packed a punch!
Even more endearing was the urinal freshener sent by “TMSleaze”‘s marketing department.
That’s right, I said Urinal Freshener.
At first I thought it was a mousepad that had the misfortune of looking like a urinal freshener, but I unwrapped it to find it actually smelled like an industrially deodorized bathroom. I’m not kidding.
This morning I rode my bike to work in my form-fitting, breathable, Ed Hardy-style “House of Wicked” t-shirt. Perhaps I looked like a douchebag but, God Damn It, people respected me.
And the Stormy barbecue sauce is actually very tasty.
But, though there is absolutely no practical use for the “TMSleaze” urinal freshener (my body does not produce waste), I am dumbfounded by how appropriate this little piece of swag is for that movie.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Today in porn swag, first in a series; Aiden Starr – coffee and condoms
See also: Wicked, Third Degree
Like Stormy, it sure packed a punch!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And hahahaha, too.