I have always been America’s Beloved Porn Journalist, and you have always been the caretaker. And Aiden Starr? I corrected her.

This photo was taken at the Burbank airport last night as the 2010 Adult Entertainment Expo ended in Las Vegas.

“There are some girls who need to put the bronzer down.“

Since you can’t show nipples at the AEE, Alexis Ford’s moneymaker was a Sharpie

The adult world is a thought leader in consumer technology once again

A reader asks, “Is there even anything to be congratulatory about?”

Porn, as you have heard, is a visual medium. That is why so many of its professionals sport tattoos in languages they can’t read.

In a very real way, all porn is good. But the following titles were better.

“When people found out I played the oboe, they would ask me to play it while sitting on some girl’s face and giving a blowjob,”

I drink hot chocolate with all kinds of liquor in it and coffee with Bailey’s and Frangelico and vanilla vodka and nothing low-calorie.

The KLK sees the value of ambition and hard work, but adds that “a little love goes a long way.”

She perched her wine glass on the edge of the sink, sat on the toilet, and took off her top. What was I doing there?

It sounds like a great night for a good cause. I’ll be there, too – it’s fun to talk about poverty in a room that smells like strippers’ melon body spray and vodka.

I’ve never been in a fraternity but I wondered what a woman might have to do to be Sweetheart.

Cytherea, like Babe Ruth, could point to a surface across the room and splatter it with labia-guided girldollops.

She was holding forth at the other end of the table about how she was hiding the afikomen in her pussy.

There are few people more exciting to think of having a date with than Belladonna and Kimberly Kane (well, I would have liked to go on a date with Mary Todd Lincoln, because that chick was crazy)

“You have gorgeous boobs,” said Kayden Kross to Charley Chase. And not only does Kayden Kross know from good boobs, but she also knows good alliteration when she sees it.

It is not lost on this observer that all three of this year’s Alices have names that begin with S. They also have vaginas.

“Women likes vampires because they’re sexy,” said Brooke.