“Public Affairs”: You Got Your Picnic Table in My Vadge; No, You Got Your Vadge in My Picnic Table

To watch a movie like “Public Affairs,” in which porn stars travel the highways and byways of California to fuck on playground structures and picnic tables, is to be constantly aware of how goddamn uncomfortable fucking on playground structures and picnic tables is.

PA15Ryan Driller, Alex Gonz, Alan Stafford, Mischa Brooks, Hailey Holiday, Esperanza Diaz, and Jessa Rhodes are nothing if not game. Driving in a red minivan to places that look deserted—like train tunnels and seaside rest areas—they are nervous, jittery, awkward, and reasonably spooked the police will show up.

And this actually happens. A park interlude is interrupted by 5-0 rolling by.

What’s fun about the movie is its sense of real danger, even if the sex itself doesn’t look particularly fun; no one looks like she/he is raring to rip the other’s clothes off. Instead viewers are privy to the thrill of wondering if someone’s going to get busted.


And danger is an aphrodisiac. Think about how horny you got after the 9/11 attacks when you felt you were that much closer to eradication. Or was that just me?

Sadly, I don’t think these people are feeling anything other than “Let’s get this over with,” even if they’re easygoing and appreciative of the company and the paycheck; it just looks like they’d rather be somewhere else other than on that play structure, which makes a lot of sense.

Buy “Hustler’s Public Affairs” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed:
See also: Hustler

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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