Tori Black: You Is My Plumber Now

In this shocking series of photos, Tori Black reveals she has had what Fashion Theorists call Ass-Out-of-Pants for Time Out of Mind.

“Ass-Out-of-Pants is a look perfected by plumbers, of course, but anyone can do it,” says valet Loup Perch-Tounge. “The idea is to maintain plausible deniability. ‘Has my ass fallen out of my pants? Oh, I see it has.'”

Black, who took these photos for Elegant Angel’s “Pretty Filthy 2,” convinced me that she had no idea her ass had come more than halfway out of her pants.

“When I am not wearing underwears,” she did not say, “it’s difficult for me to know when my ass has risen up, like a balloon filled with Christ’s resurrection.”

I will endeavor to bring you more Ass-Out-of-Pants images as they become available throughout the world.

  • Buy “Tori Black Is Pretty Filthy 2” here

Also: the headline is a reference to a song. I will send this DVD to the first person (of legal age and porn-friendly locale) to tell me the woman the song addresses.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: A Movie featuring a dude who did not do justice to Ass-Out-of-Pants couture; Stoya has a pretty mouth; FitM: It needs to stop
See also: Elegant Angel

About Gram the Man 4399 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist


  1. She has those sexy back dimples – they’re the only thing distracting me from fully appreciating her anal cleft… but only just.

  2. Big plus 1 (+1) on the upper buttocks dimples. They make me want to fill them up, like tiny pearlescent wading pools. And her eyes seem to beckon “come on in!”

  3. You win Rob!

    Send your snail mail address and some verbiage about how you are over 18 and that it is legal to receive porn in your area and I will send out your prize.

  4. My first exposure to Porgy and Bess was Barbara Streisand’s “The Broadway Album” when I was a young boy. And now here I am. Babs would not be pleased.

  5. Congrats, Rob.

    Hell’s bells, G – I didn’t even *see* the contest thing. Not that I would have gotten it without a Google search, but really – Tori’s back dimples are just that powerful.

  6. The contest just occurred to me. I had an idea of running a contest every month but sometimes don’t feel the inspiration unless something really presents itself. Like Tori’s Ass-Out-of-Pants experience. You know, I didn’t even notice the dimples (I used to be married to someone who called them “enterpations”) until I resized the picture. But yes, they really tie the room together.

  7. To paraphrase the Gershwins’ contemporaries:

    “Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly
    We gotta love your fleshy backside
    Can’t help lovin’ dat ass of thine…”

    I’ll get me coat.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.