“Little Brown Fucking Machines” rejected my manuscript

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If you expected a porny expose on the editorial assistants at the venerable east coast publishing house, you’ve come to the wrong place. That would either be “Little, Brown Fucking Machines” or “Slutty Shtonk-Slobbering Slants of Simon & Schuster.”

lbmfAon, Nung, Joy, Sugar. Does this sound like an exotic, Elizabeth Gilbert-style recipe for self-fulfillment? Perhaps if you’re the dude buying “Little Brown Fucking Machines 7.”

“Little Brown Fucking Machines 7” (or, as we say in industry circles, “LBFM to the 7”) won’t draw you in with its witty banter or its Eastern Mystery. But if you’re into women who calmly do what they’re told and have brown nipples while doing it, this movie is for you.

While I wouldn’t characterize this quartet of sex partners as listless, they do occupy a more passive role than their Western counterparts because, I think, they’re expected to. The British fellows scouring the fleshpits of Bangkok for people like Nung and Aon aren’t looking for active problem solvers; they want women who will perform a few tasks and then lie back for the inevitable conclusion.

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I know that budgets are tight, but I would find movies like this so much more appealing if there were just a few outside shots. Before Joy and Sugar got to that hotel room, where were they? The transition between Attractive Woman Buying Cigarettes on the Streets of Thailand to Nearly Anonymous Porn Actress would make the sex scene more compelling.

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This is not to say the sex is lifeless or soul-deadening. Like much porn produced by Third World Media, it is much more transactional, which is not to say it lacks spark. But one thing that makes work transactions richer is the idea of a life outside, so that these “Little Brown Fucking Machines” don’t seem so machinelike.

Buy “Little Brown Fucking Machines 7” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Alliteration Alert: “Teeny Tiny Thai Twigs 2?; I didn’t mean to offend trans-anyone
See also: Third World Media

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  1. Pingback: A Visit to Mamiru’s Forbidden Vagina | CLUB FANTASY

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