Gram Ponante: America's Beloved Porn Journalist

Montagfoto 8.6.12—Why Feet Matter

I like this picture the best, but there’s no feet in it

I know someone who likes to deliver blowjobs while lying flat on her stomach with her feet swinging lazily in the air like she’s talking on a Princess phone. Otherwise I couldn’t give a shit about feet.

Well, I suppose I’d be concerned if they were hooves, had some kind of monitoring device bolted to them, or were caked in blood and vomit, but that would only be concerned, and not necessarily a dealbreaker.

I explain this because, as America’s Beloved Porn Journalist, it’s not important what my preferences are, only that I convey a sense of the sights, sounds, smells, dread, and majesty of a porn set, even if I am privately thinking “That is not where you put that.”

And so I arrived on the set of Kick-Ass Pictures’ “Barefoot Confidential” in 2007. It was a foot fetish movie with some real subtext: Micah Moore played a vegan prostitute who took Jack Lawrence’s money but then refused him entry on the basis of his being a carnivore. At the time I thought, “Jack Lawrence is the guy with the police uniform—and car—that he rents to porn sets. How would anyone believe this scenario?”

But on that set I learned that foot fetishists liked to see a lot of flexing of the foot, and were revolted by something called French Tips. Pedal Verisimilitude or not, Lawrence still managed to get into the parts of Micah Moore that made real sense to me.

There. Happy?

Indeed, when selecting photographs for this story, I initially chose the image of the script, Moore’s alpine butt, and her nipples, which the porn industry has missed since her departure; I didn’t think about her feet.

But it’s not about me.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: (Pop) shot in the foot; Scrotox and Fellatio Dogs—how porn continues to influence the economy; Waiting for the other shoe to drop with “Foot Fetish Sluts”

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Bawdy Storytelling
El Cid, Hollywood
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April 25, 2013
29th Annual XRCO Awards
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