Pornollaneous 8.19.10

Too big for a Twitter post, too little for a novel, here are the week’s pornollaneous events that, taken as a whole, answer the most basic questions about our existence.

This Week: Gram Ponante Suppressed in Massachusetts, Could the Fake Montana Fishburne Twitter Be the Ghost of Porn’s Biggest Self-Hating Gay Man?, AVN and XBIZ merge HR departments, .XXX the movie

It is hard to believe that my wholesome web presence would be banned in the very cradle of American freedom, but a reader sent me this screenshot from somewhere below Paul Revere’s copper State House dome indicating that, while Boston may be home of the bean and the cod, I am as welcome as Manny Ramirez:

Dear Mr. Ponante,

I work for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts here in the state house. I won’t tell you what I do. Until very recently I was able to access your site on my lunch break, but now you have been banned from our servers. How did you offend Massachusetts? — Wicked Pissed in Winthrop

Dear Wicked Pissed,

Must have been all the shit I talked about James Michael Curley

(If you have screen shots of my site being banned from interesting places, by all means send them in.)

Fake Fishburne Twitter Stirs Unwelcome Memories

Say what you will about Montana Fishburne’s decision to embark on a porn career, but don’t put words in her mouth. A fake Twitter account credited to the pornward daughter of Morpheus (as “Tana Fishburne”) has been debunked. Among the false tweets:

Aw this little 13 year old girl came up to me talking about I’m her favorite celebrity and she is going to make a sex-tape when she turns 18…

It’s too late fools. Me and … are the next generation’s ROLE MODELS. You had your chance and decided to go to college smh hoes

I know this girl that has an MD and her Master’s and she is working with high school kids at the coffee shop. “Montana your coffee’s ready!”

If only the fake Fishburne had included a tweet demanding people’s attention but then deriding them for paying attention, or strenuously defending her sexual orientation, it would sound exactly like the ravings of a failed musician/actor from Maryland who somehow managed to even flunk out of porn a few years ago. I’m wondering if he got a new gig?

[See how I predicted a Fishburne porn appearance four years ago]

Trade Publications Trade Employees, Too

In 2003, “Gram Ponante” was fired by AVN for reasons unexplained to this day (though I continued working there under an alias until 2004, go figure). In 2005, I was hired by XBIZ under an alias (which itself was fired a few months later) but continued to work for the publication as Gram Ponante until 2008. Thus I became the first of many exes those serial spouses have shared.

As the economy has soured, what was once a zero-hire policy of former employees of their rivals has matured into an open and loving exchange of employees who, like butterflies, can’t be made to sign Non-Compete Agreements. It is like XBiz and AVN are 50-year-old swingers.

AVN’s Acme Andersson went to XBiz as a freelancer in 2006, followed by Tod Hunter, who completed his XBiz editorial duties last year. But editorial is always small potatoes, and it wasn’t until Sales Rep Sara Sazzman jumped ship from AVN to XBiz that AVN filed a nuisance lawsuit.

If points were awarded, however, Tom Hymes would get them, as he fled from AVN to XBiz (with a stop at the Free Speech Coalition) and then was hired back at AVN, all having apparently been forgiven.

This says as much about the lack of jobs out there as it does about the — now don’t laugh — specialized knowledge shared by a small group of adult industry professionals. Like a snake fisting itself, we recognize both that the only games in town are pretty grim places to work but also that there are few qualified to do the job, so things that would have been impossible when times were better are now commonplace. [see Porn Valley Signage: Which Is Real?]

Still, it was a real head-scratcher when former XBiz editor Steve Javors was hired at AVN as second in command to editor Dan Miller, then Miller was scooped up by XBiz following his replacement by Javors.. Miller, of course, did not know Javors was to be his replacement. I wish them both well in their new jobs.

Dot-XXX — A Feel-Good Film About the Guy You Love to Hate

Eminent Portland masturbatrix and adult industry writer Theresa “Darklady” Reed penned a script to Dot XXX: The Movie that effectively lays out several concerns the organized elements of the adult industry have with Stuart Lawley, the ICM Registry, and the proposed .xxx Top Level Domain.

In the 8-minute video, Lawley is played by an unidentified actor as a condescending money grabber. With cameo performances by Joanna Angel, John Stagliano, and Larry Flynt, “Dot-XXX — The Movie!” finally gives the adult industry a villain that is not itself.

Read more about Dot XXX Opposition

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Outporning Porn; Big Pimpin’ with Chippy D; Why .XXX is a shameful choice