“The Teacher 3”: Good Lay, Bad Person

Despite giving it the old college try (blowing the president), professor Michelle Lay is passed over for promotion at her small university. This sets into motion more unscrupulous behavior in Nica Noelle’s complex and sexy “The Teacher 3: To Die For,” including affairs with students and the use of words like “synecdoche.”

Studio: Sweet Sinner
Director: Nica Noelle
Starring: Michelle Lay, Xander Corvus, Allie Haze, Danny Wylde, Randy Spears

It’s not that Michelle Lay is any worse than anyone else on the faculty; it’s just that she feels she’s been Wronged. She enlists the help of lovestruck student Xander Corvus to get the goods on an academic rival (Randy Spears) so that she can get what is rightly coming to her.

“You’re pretty cocky for a student who’s failing all of his classes,” says Bad Teacher Lay to Corvus. “I kind of like that.”

“You’re pretty sexy when you get all evil,” he says.

Corvus, meanwhile, has his own reason to get rid of Spears, who is rumored to be top of the list for Dean; Spears might throw Corvus out for his crappy grades. Corvus gets girlfriend Allie Haze to entrap Spears the only way she knows how.

“Women aren’t that nice to me,” she tells Spears when the latter encourages her to seek a female counselor for her ‘guy problem.’ But “guys are always nice.”

Haze does a sophomore slump on Spears, and Corvus gets pictures.

By the end of the movie, I couldn’t help but think that if all these vaguely detestable people had used their considerable wiles for the cause of Good rather than Evil, no tragedies would have befallen their tiny college (so small that Lay appears to teach both Fiction and Math).

But, as Corvus says, people are sexy when they’re evil. In a movie refreshing for its easy pace, pillow talk, and depth of character, we even have released mental patient Danny Wylde, whose interlude with Lay depicts that most intimate act of porn love: a creampie.

(Lay also has this move she uses with both Corvus and Wylde in which she balls herself up fetally during sex: so appropriate for this cougar and two men returning to the womb.)

Lay receives a comeuppance of a different sort at the end of this well-crafted movie, but justice-minded folk might well wonder if Corvus straightens out, if Allie Haze can get over her sense of betrayal, or if the uncredited college president suffers any backlash for canoodling with the staff.

Regardless, “Teacher 3” is a great movie for people who like porn with a strong story, even if it casts doubt on America’s schools.

Buy “The Teacher 3: To Die For” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Nyomi Banxxx IS “The Baysitter”; Allie Haze IS “Dirty in the Head”; Neither Jethro Tull nor 38 Special expected this “Teacher” (but maybe The Police did)
See also: Sweet Sinner

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