“Jeopardy! XXX” popshots the question

I’ve gone so far past thoughts of “this is a silly idea for parody” that I accepted the arrival of Hustler’s “This Ain’t Jeopardy” with a Meta-Zen quality particular to people who work in Porn Valley. The first thoughts I had were:

1. Mary Carey in a movie financed by Larry Flynt? Where else but porn will you see such cooperation among former political rivals? Both Flynt and Carey drew significant votes in California’s 2003 gubernatorial recall election that ultimately put Arnold Schwarzenegger in Sacramento.

2. Shouldn’t Dale Dabone’s Alex Trebek be reading Canadian Hustler?

3. Why was Tod Hunter not given a role? Meet venerable porn blogger Tod Hunter and within five minutes he will reference his time writing for the actual “Jeopardy!” back in the 1990s. He could have handed Carey her towel or something.

4. Had Hustler toyed with the idea of “This Ain’t The Price Is Right,” or are disgruntled former Barker’s Beauties too practiced at litigation?

5. Why is director Axel Braun uncredited anywhere in the movie or on the boxcover?

Studio: Hustler
Director: Axel Braun
Starring: Dale Dabone, Dayna Vendetta, Mary Carey, Codi Carmichael, Breanne Benson, Nicki Hunter, Britney Amber, Mr. Pete, Tommy Pistol, Danny Mountain

Game show host Alex Trebek (Dale Dabone) is so engrossed in the Montana Fishburne issue of Hustler that he fails to register the fact that voluptuous and titan-breasted assistant Mary Carey is about to go take “a little shower.” Has the convoluted answer-to-question format of “Jeopardy!” rewired his Canadian sexuality so irrevocably that he’d choose the 2-dimensional daughter of Morpheus over the real-life curvy danger of the “Sober House” celebrity?

Working her First Step beautifully, Carey masturbates in the shower, knowing that she is powerless over it.

Trebek fucks both his beautiful masseuse (the newly-blonde Breanne Benson) as well as his returning champion (Diamond Foxxx), however.

The movie portrays Trebek not as the urbane and congenial raconteur he appears in the original, but as a grouchy weasel angling to nail employees and contestants, neither of whom put up much of a fight. And the game show within a show cleverly uses what could easily be snippets of recompiled Hustler movies as “questions” (“What is a blowbang?” “What is a gloryhole?”), thus giving this movie seven scenes rather than the standard five.

Still, what makes “Jeopardy!” worth getting into isn’t in the movie at all, but in the fascinating Behind the Scenes featurette available on the DVD.

As with any porn movie one can buy, the real value often comes from the BTS footage. “Jeopardy!”‘s is great. The (again, uncredited, but I believe it is Hustler head of production Drew Rosenfeld) interviewer sits down for fun, sexy, and informative chats with Dayna Vendetta, whose interview makes you want to rewatch her blowbang from the movie, Benson, who describes the optimum environment for trying to pick her up in public, Codi Carmichael, who attributes her great ass to hot wings, and Southern Belle Diamond Foxx, who credits her great ass to biscuits.

But the best interview comes from Carey, back in the business and only doing “softcore” (hence why her character seems out of place and doesn’t fuck Alex). She divulges why it’s harder to run for general elections versus recalls (800,000 signatures as opposed to 65) and twice refers to her own parents as “retarded.” Having done stints in both “Celebrity Rehab” and “Sober House,” she appears ten times more lucid than the last time the porn world saw her, and reveals that men recognize her from porn and the 2003 election and women recognize her from VH-1.

It might make you ask who needs porn parodies or cumbersome scripts when we could have adult performers just being themselves, but then there’s a dozen below the line professionals suddenly out of work…

If I were you, I would watch the BTS featurette of “This Ain’t Jeopardy xxx” first, and then watch the movie, which would suddenly make sense.

Buy “This Ain’t Jeopardy XXX” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Ponante shocked, pleased with “Facts of Life XXX” Academy Award nominations; Diamond Foxx gives a little extra, obviously
See also: Hustler