Just because we can be proficient with the tools of our trade, we don’t have to like them.

“When it comes down to it—who’s fucking what and who’s fucking who and whatnot—it’s all porn.”

A recent trip to the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas revealed that porn still has its fingers way up the needs of American consumers.

“Fleshlightning” is like “Agnes of God” meets “Bikini-clad Cum Sluts” and without Thetans.

“This Ain’t The Fountainhead” is the only porn movie that comes with a building

Grid your loins, porn fans!

“You’re more exciting than his hands, I hope,” says Bobbi Starr

If you present a persona that he wants to dive into like a heated swimming pool, Miss X, he will come in your mouth with very little effort on your part.

The couples in this movie are very attractive, as is their genuine positive regard for each other. That said, the “not based on actual events” disclaimer at the end is disquieting: does this mean real couples can’t be drenched in love?

“It’s odd that we’re all at this point in our lives that we drove to the strip bar in a minivan,” he said.

So both sides of the market are cornered; those consumers who like to feel like they’re masturbating with the very concept of Infinite Space and those who wants to jill off to something shaped like a seahorse.

To many men, the idea of sticking stainless steel rods in their urethras sounds like torture. But to be honest, each of us derives a certain amount of pleasure from pain. Why else am I so attracted to women who are crazy?

I will be liveblogging Sabrina Deep’s Gangbang this weekend. One thing to remember on such sets is that you really need to breathe through your mouth.

The reason why you don’t see every male porn performer in his twenties endorsing Viagra and Cialis is because they don’t need to advertise it.

“Sex is supposed to be fun,” Waxman said, “which is why I shy away from the word ‘expert’. That implies you’re done learning about the subject, and sometimes the thrill of it is improving on your mistakes.”

“Where do you think we’ll be a year from now?” Piccionelli asked the panelists. I really wanted someone to say, “soliciting bus fare,” but no one did.

“That’s a shitload of sex toys you’ve got there. What does this one do?”

“You put it up your ass,” I replied, “twist it, and stimulate your prostate. That’s what the ‘P’ stands for.”

By the point one is in a venue that features a seven-foot bucking penis, the spout may as well just shoot hollow-point bullets and be done with it

A reader asks, “Is there even anything to be congratulatory about?”

Larry Flynt, the great man has admitted, lost his virginity to a chicken. I keep that in mind when I review sex toys that at first seem improbable.