The further pimping of Kacey Jordan
If you learned of the porn-star/hooker proclivities of the actor Charlie Sheen here, well, congratulations, because you have even less interest in celebrity sex gossip than I do.
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Yar’s Revenge: “Star Trek: The Next Generation” gets a porn parody
I knew I was dealing with serious Trekkies when Giles, the British Patrick Stewart lookalike whose business card features the actor dressed as both Jean-Luc Picard and Dr. Xavier from “X-Men,” used the word “canonical.”
Putting something in Kaylani Lei’s drink makes for a special evening
Stormy Daniels has such mainstream-marketable ideas for movies that I would like to see Hollywood adaptations of her porn scripts, but without the porn.
The Korn/Porn connection: Saving Us from Ourselves
“Save Me from Myself” is a little like “The Devil in Miss Jones,” in which Miss Jones finds herself in Hell having not really enjoyed the life that got her there.
Home for Eros Day with Dr. Suzy
I have worked in the adult industry long enough to respect the double standards on which it is built, and some of these require a great deal of finesse to negotiate.
“Sinderella” or: y tu Jiz Lee tambien
Amicable stable boy Wolf Hudson goes where no man has gone before in Nica Noelle’s “Sinderella & Me.”
Maybe Jessica Bangkok can’t play the piano, Amy Chua, but she knows how to live
Every teacher from Sting to Jeff Daniels’ character in “Terms of Endearment” to whatever Garp’s wife’s name was (I’m not going to look it up—do I look Chinese to you?) can tell you that you shouldn’t pluck the low-hanging fruit that is a besotted student.
The 2010 Ropey Volley Awards—Pictures of the Year
As I’ve been led to understand, pornography is a visual medium.
“Vampire Sisters” are doing it to themselves: An interview with Maria Beatty
Latex-clad Alpha Vampiress Anastasia Pierce gently awakens her “little sister,” Ariel X, paying particular attention to the younger immortal’s erectile tissue.
“Drenched in Love”: Warrant song or Wicked movie?
The couples in this movie are very attractive, as is their genuine positive regard for each other. That said, the “not based on actual events” disclaimer at the end is disquieting: does this mean real couples can’t be drenched in love?
MontagFoto 12.20.10
Here is the frank and ripe Emily Evermoore on the set of the 2007 movie “Insertz,” a “dark parody,” if you will, of the 1974 Richard Dreyfuss movie “Inserts.”
AIDS Healthcare teams with Stuart Lawley for “Not Yogi Bear dot-XXX”
“I’m not sure about the ethics, but if they ask me to direct my ‘This Ain’t The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald’ script and they pay on time, well…”
When you’re too skinny, sometimes “The Biggest Loser” is you
When they’re fat, each of these ladies gets jerked off on by one guy apiece. When they’re slimmer, all of them share the load.
Porn parody boldly tackles race, dairy
Ashli Orion as Young Edna Garrett reacts to the complex series of emotions stirred by the arrival of Yeastland’s milkman, Delroy, played by Lee Bang
Artporn elite remember David Aaron Clark with wine, cheese, castration
We would have welcomed his bitching had DAC just been there.
The Guns of Brixton
Imagine an entire disc of “Barely Legal” devoted to pornstresses who took their name from tracks on “Excitable Boy”? Fuck!
I Was There: A Short History of the Greatest Photograph Ever Taken
“Thank you everyone,” I said, wiping away a tear (oh god i hope it was a tear). “I think we made history this morning.”
“Malice in La La Land”: A Long Day’s Journey Down the Rabbit Hole
“Malice” might well be Sasha Grey’s last big feature for a while, now that she’s all famous and stuff, so, if not for the chance to see a dwarf or actual nipples (courtesy of Jesse Capelli and Mackenzee Pierce) in Jumbo’s Clown Room, see it for Sasha.
“Here Cums the President”: POTUS Interruptus*
This movie suggests that presidents George Washington, Franklin Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard Nixon, and Bill Clinton were unfaithful to their wives.
She Shall Brie Giovon
Jesus, he wants to go to Venus.