There may be those who disagree with my calling Alexis Texas zaftig, as if I’m trying to call her fat, but I’m not. Zaftig means juicy, goddammit, and Texas is juicy.

Gram speaks with the namesake of Kelly Shibari’s Big Beautiful Bukkake And Blowjob Show

When they’re fat, each of these ladies gets jerked off on by one guy apiece. When they’re slimmer, all of them share the load.

“If any of these women appear in an anal scene in just one more movie, consumers will know their anuses haven’t been annihilated and will want their money back.”

The women of “Curvaceous 2″ are more like Vargas beauties painted on the noses of WWII planes.

Roseanne: The XXX Parody

Studio: Dream Zone Enertainment
Director: Jim Enrght
Starring: Kelly Shibari, Tim von Swine, Violet Monroe, Jules Sterling, Vin Vercose, Kayla Paige, Kris Slater, Dylan Ryder, Johnny Castle, Jack Lawrence

This review originally appeared on Fleshbot

The Connor family gathers for Thanksgiving and, Cinemax-style, employs a generic soundtrack and uses phone calls and flashbacks to set up sex scenes that could have taken place in any movie, but for the lovely Violet Monroe’s plaid shirt.

For some reason the gang is gathered in a room outfitted like a mead hall, underlining a production that didn’t try too hard. When Jack Lawrence steps in for a scene (set up via phone) in a jail, we sense that he was hired simply because he already owned a cop uniform.

When watching a Score movie I always feel like I’m viewing the sentient seas of the planet Solaris; eventually all that flesh takes on an identity of its own and I can no longer discern where one fold ends and another begins.

That’s like when I was 2, ate all the fudge, had chocolate all over me, and told my mother the dog had shat on my face.

Today I came across (not literally) Miss Aileen Ghettman, a Score favorite from Marietta, Georgia. There is only one other porn person I’ve met from Marietta, Ashley Jane, and she looked like Miss Ghettman could eat her for lunch.

If you were Delbert Grady, wouldn’t you like to correct Alix Lakehurst? And what is it about hotel hallways that makes women so vulnerable?

Zaftig and wicked dominatrix Julie Simone sent along this snapshot of domestic tranquility at her place, as captured in her forthcoming “Vicious Vixxxens 6: Asphyxiating Ariel.” Because I am interested in how things work, I asked Simone about her process. “What do you call what you’re doing to that poor girl?” I asked. “Tuesday,” she [...]

I don’t know what the juicy Lilith Eve is getting at by appropriating the names of Adam’s two wives (both of which, no matter what text you read, turned out shrewish), but the lush 25-year-old from OC Modeling looks like she’ll be a great asset to your pornographic motion picture before she either becomes a [...]

Where I come from (GPS coordinates: 30.4813°N 89.7690°W), if you call someone thick, you are calling her retarded. And while having sex with the mentally disabled is arguably the subject matter of 90 percent of JM Video’s titles, it is that other meaning of “thick,” the one involving childbearing hips and breasts that dangle and [...]

Each night, when the ghost of anti-porn intellectual Andrea Dworkin pickets Gram Ponante Towers, Helipad, Wildlife Sanctuary, Hanging Gardens, Jackboot Resoler, and Merkin Mart, she leaves behind pamphlets that read “Pornography Promotes Unrealistic Depictions of Women.” Luckily I’ve already gone home. And I agree with her. But I have a huge and abiding love for [...]