Holly Sampson: Tiger’s Wonder Years

Actress/porn star/escort Holly Sampson, who today joined the ranks of Tiger Woods’ alleged mistresses, probably has the most impressive resume.

London’s Telegraph newspaper suggests that Woods should be “humiliated” by this recent pornish turn of events, but Ms. Sampson can act.

Not only was she Teri, Fred Savage’s crush object in two episodes of “The Wonder Years,” but she also appeared in “Pump Up the Volume” and on “Matlock.” In a career that took her from wholesome girls next door to softcore (she did a stint as “Emmanuelle”) to hardcore to escorting, Sampson always kept the same name.

Good for you, Holly Sampson.

In Zero Tolerance’s “You, Me, and Her,” Sampson delivers a very funny and assured performance as a teacher who, for some reason, needs to teach James Deen and Mick Blue how to have sex. Yes, the premise is stupid, but Ms. Sampson lights up the room with her talent and vagina.

Adam & Eve is filming “Tiger’s Wood” with Tyler Knight as the embattled golfer and Kayden Kross, in what will probably be her last role for Adam & Eve before she begins her contract with Digital Playground, as his long-suffering wife.

My question is, will Holly Sampson play herself?

It is a concern that Mr. Woods’ career seems to be going all Bob Crane but, as I felt about former president Bill Clinton, I applaud his eclectic choices.

What does Sampson have to say? She and her lawyer are keeping mum, but her escort website promises everything a tense sports celebrity could want:

I want to be that special someone whom you’ll REMEMBER. I want to make sure that when we part you’re left completely WALKING ON AIR. The memory of my smile should WARM you. The sound of my laugh should LINGER in your mind. The touch of my hand on yours should leave you – BREATHLESS…

After this, I think Holly Sampson will definitely be someone Woods REMEMBERS.

Buy “You, Me & Her” here
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Mom and pop whores benefit from rising gas prices; Pot smoker calling kettle black; Porn personnel 8 percent of Dumb Hollywood
See also: Holly Sampson on Cityvibe; Holly Sampson on the IMDb